Rajesh Khanna: Won Through Subtlety, Lost To Context

Rajesh Khanna: Won Through Subtlety, Lost To Context
He got attached to the results of a context he had not created,
and unlike Amitabh, failed to recreate and reinvent himself.

Handsome looks, his mannerisms , an infectious smile and a subtle dialogue delivery style are what defined Rajesh Khanna. His phenomenon has come alive in the past few days since his death. Life is a great leveler and holds its cards close to its chest. While life takes back what you want the most in life, it returns it on death, when you were expecting none of it. Rajesh Khanna got it all when he least expected them, lost it all even as he desired to hold on to them, and regained them just for a brief period when his eyes had shut forever.

Cinema offers a very interesting paradigm of life. It imitates life, and then creates an illusion which life – seemingly almost deliberately -- struggles to keep up with, forgetting that it was the creator of the illusion in the first place, and so has the power to recreate rather than hold on to an ephemeral passage of time. Personalities in the form of stars and superstars mirror this play of the real and the illusory, resulting in a roller coaster ride for them. Much before the information revolution made the previous day's success irrelevant in the morning, cinema had already provided a deep perspective on the success-failure equation. It had made actors realise that you were just a hit away from being a phenomenon and perhaps just a flop away from being discarded.

Rajesh Khanna and Amitabh Bachchan, who replaced the eternal romantic as an `angry` superstar, in that sense are not just personalities, but case studies in their own right. While one rose to superstardom on the back of charm and subtlety, the other rose to superstardom on the back of intensity. Both actually were simply pawns in the script of life, which wove a context and placed its two best protagonists on centre stage, for they, with their immense talent for expression, were the two most suitable boys of Bollywood to enact the role life had envisioned. The terms `pawns` and `suitable boys` should not be seen as being disrespectful to Rajesh Khanna and Amitabh Bachchan, for when you see it from the perspective of life being a master, both Khanna and Bachchan were the chosen ones, and it is a tribute to their immense talent and charisma that they found themselves in a period of Bollywood history which is one of the most discussed. They both exuded just the right kind of talent and `reel behaviours` for the prevailing context.

If Rajesh Khanna brought alive like no one else the undercurrent of romance of a young India in the late '60s and early '70s, Amitabh Bachchan became the demolition man of systemic ills once it became clear the country could no longer afford to live in romantic solitude and had to find ways to resolve its real time issues. Thus, context was the backdrop in which both succeeded, and change in context was the backdrop in which Rajesh Khanna found his personal decline.

The reason Amitabh has managed to come back from decline and stay on as an enigma for so long is because he found ways to reinvent and express himself beyond a limited context. He managed to operate beyond the `master social script of life`. He found a script which was not necessarily linked to the social milieu and revolved more around his own limited contexts as a human being and a professional.

Rajesh Khanna perhaps lost this perspective when the context had changed course. He got attached to the results of a context he had not created, and unlike Amitabh, failed to recreate and reinvent himself. But there is no taking away from the fact that he shaped a critical period in the evolution of Hindi films and laid the foundation for the emergence of `The Superstar` designation in Bollywood.

Rajesh Khanna is gone, but his phenomenon will live on, kyun ki `Anand Mara Nahi, Anand Marte Nahi` .   

Sunil Gavaskar – Playing It As Straight As Ever

Sunil Gavaskar – Playing It As Straight As Ever
In every way, he set the tone for the threads to be picked up and built upon by others.

My idol Sunil Gavaskar turns 63 today, and there is none of the drop in guard that you would associate with an ageing person. It is remarkable that even twenty five years after he retired from international cricket, his passion for the game and his engagement with the sport is as infectious as ever. From an opening batsman, post retirement, he has flowered as a commentator and columnist. In both these roles what has not changed from the days when he held his bat in an elegant stance is the `straight drive`. Even now, he plays it as straight as ever and says it as it is.

My brother and I grew up in a generation which worshipped Gavaskar as India's first true sporting icon. He was also India's first commercial sporting superstar, who showed the way to cricketers how to leverage themselves as a brand and create financial security while still playing. In every way, he set the tone for the threads to be picked up and built upon by others.

It was only in the latter part of his career that we could watch him bat ball by ball, as much of cricket before the TV boom in the early '80s was followed through radio commentary. Avid cricket players in our society compound, we picked up the nuances of Gavaskar's batting through the description meted out by radio commentators. While the commentary was good, the commentators too seemed to get inspired by the way in which he met the fearsome rising ball in front of his nose, or ducked a bouncer, or left a ball alone outside the off stump.

More than the runs that Gavaskar scored, what he brought to the table with his attitude, technique, temperament and class was a pride of being an Indian. He was India's first truly global sporting personality – even though he represented a sport which only few countries indulged in -- and guarded his wicket not just for the hunger of runs, but also for ensuring a fledgling India -- with a weak sporting philosophy and evolving democratic framework -- held its head high on the international stage.

Gavaskar, through his sporting achievements, made Indians believe in themselves. He was the first to go past Don Bradman's 29 test centuries and the first to scale the incredible 10,000-run peak, which is now an accepted benchmark to be recognised as a top batsman. He played in an era when the West Indian fast bowlers brayed for `blood` and not just wickets, and he faced them more with his mind as a protective gear than with a helmet. Concentration formed the cornerstone of his efforts at the crease. Though more talented as a batsman than what he allowed the world to see, he etched out risky strokes so that his team, which depended heavily on him at the top of the order, did not have to suffer.

The importance of the legend and legacy of Sunil Gavaskar can be understood from the fact that it took India a number of years to find a stable opening test batting pair. The value he brought to the art of batting is a legacy in itself, which was later mirrored more by Rahul Dravid than anybody else. The classical nature of Gavaskar's batsmanship is sorely missed by connoisseurs of cricket, and by those who learnt the fineprint of batting from the way the legend operated at the crease.

The greatest aspect of Gavaskar's craft was that batting became synonymous with him and he became synonymous with the word copybook. The copybook nature of batsmanship is what will put India back on top of the test rankings, and nobody knows this better than Gavaskar himself.

Happy Birthday Sir! And wish you many, many more years of health, wealth and prosperity, as well as service to Indian cricket.

Thank You Mr Gavaskar.

This Day, Last Year

This Day, Last Year

On June 19, 2011, my life changed forever, yet again!

June 19, 2011 was a momentous day for my friend Samuel Talari (Samee) and me. We launched our book `The 20 20 20 20 Formula For Success` -- 25 Life Changing Principles For Health, Healing And Happiness -- at a well attended function in Mumbai University's Kalina campus. Renowned scholar Mr Asghar Ali Engineer, with whom I worked years ago, was the Chief Guest and released the book.

The irony of the book title is that by the time you finish reading the title, you could have completed reading the book itself, for it is that small, with the main contents being smaller. The feedback we received was that we need to write more substantial books for it to carry better salability, but yes, we received good feedback about its contents and the way the launch program was organised.

But be that as it may, the important point is that after years of struggle, because of the book, the writer in me came alive, and for this I will forever be grateful to Samee, who put it all together and inducted me into the world of publishing. That day, my life changed forever for sure, for in the past year I have become a voracious writer, feeling incomplete if I don't pen something on a regular basis.

Writing was a hidden passion, which I think for lack of substantial content and intellectual maturity had to wait for a real long time before it exploded. Even as a kid and in my growing up years I used to try and write. But it took deeper roots in the six years I spent my life as a journalist, and I am very grateful to that profession for instilling in me a basic understanding of the nuances of writing. I always wondered why I became a journalist. Maybe I now know why!

The reason I say my life changed yet again is because that's been the story of my journey ever since I met my spiritual Guru Dadaji in the year 1989. The day I met and received initiation from him in Pune certainly has to take precedence over any other event in my life. He changed my life forever. A simple man and a spiritual stalwart, he will forever remain the most important person in my life. Though no more in his physical body, his grace and blessings guide me till date and will for the rest of my life, and beyond too.

In late 1993, I learnt Reiki from Dr Sudhir Gesota in Mumbai and my life changed again, forever. I am immensely grateful to Dr Sudhir for the way he taught me Reiki and for the way he nurtured me. Reiki ever since has been the basis of my existence. It resurrected me physically, emotionally, intellectually and spiritually. The desire to spread Reiki is a life long quest.

I met my to-be wife Rita, one of the most amazing souls to inhabit Planet Earth, in 1995, and we got married in early 1996, yet again changing my life forever. Her unconditional love for me and her unconditional acceptance of my personality – which keeps changing with every passing year – gave me an emotional support system which keeps me going despite newer and newer intellectual, spiritual and emotional challenges being thrown at me by God from time to time. She has supported me despite she carrying an almost opposite personality and irrespective of not always being able to understand my behaviour or actions.

In late 1998, our daughter Diksha was born – God answered our prayers for a girl child – and yet again my life changed forever. The sheer process of seeing her grow up has been fascinating to say the least. The fact that we share similar behavioural patterns is just a welcome bonus. Poor wife! she sometimes has to deal with two Hariharans and that too at the same time.

I changed my career to training in the year 2001 and joined IMS, and my life changed forever once more. Here I must mention the year 1987 when my brother Ravi pushed me to undergo Mr Pramod Palekar's public speaking course. Surely, at the end of the course, my life changed forever, and the seeds of a future career in training were sown.

In 2004, I joined Max New York Life Insurance (MNYL), and my life changed forever, as it was in the five-and-a-half years that I spent there that I truly discovered my talents and grew up as a person. Before joining MNYL, I lacked career orientation and professional maturity. I will forever be grateful to MNYL for the contribution it has made to my life.

On June 30, 2009, I spent my last day at MNYL, and from July 1, 2009, I embarked upon a journey to try and set up my own training organisation. In the last three years, the book launch has been the most significant milestone. In this period of struggle to realise my dreams, I have continued to grow as a person.

I have come to realise that many more `forever changes` are waiting to embrace me. After all, change is the only constant and growth the only sensible choice.

They say nothing is forever. But for me, life simply seems to be a series of `forever changes`, each one institutionalising within me a certain growth process, adding more meaning, depth and purpose to that particular space in my persona.

May you too get enriched daily and grow constantly. Do keep visiting this space for more updates on the `forever changes` in my life.

Being A `Gandhi`

Being A `Gandhi`

The problem of being born to an iconic parent may not be Harilal's alone

It is said that comparisons are odious. But there are many people in this world who wish they were born to rich or famous parents, thereby ensuring a smooth and easy life. But little do people realise that it does not necessarily have to translate into a smooth ride for children born to rich and famous people.

A case in point is Harilal Gandhi, son of Mahatma Gandhi. A wonderful film that captures the `burden` of being born a Mahatma's son is `Gandhi My Father`, a 2007 release, directed by Feroz Abbas Khan. While India catapulted Gandhiji to the status of `Father Of The Nation`, his problem was his own father. Harilal held diverse views about life from Gandhiji and couldn't quite fathom the `discrimination` his father meted out to him in the name of universal love and justice. While Gandhiji committed himself to a process of internal evolution, thereby leading him from a barrister to a Mahatma, Harilal wanted to lead a normal life. The film depicts Harilal as openly expressing his displeasure against his father. He undergoes a deep identity crisis, gets into harmful ways, and despite the best efforts of his parents to align him to them, suffers a lonely and painful end.

While it seems fascinating from the outside to be born into the household of a Bachchan, or a Nehru-Gandhi, or an Ambani, the process of coming to terms with expectations of people, or from their own selves, cannot be easy. God has ways of placing various types of problems in people's laps. While the children of the not-so-rich and famous have to grapple with the daily struggles of life, the children of the rich and famous have a different kind of battle to deal with.

As a teen, when Amitabh Bachchan was at the peak of his career and rose to become a integral part of the nation's consciouness, I always wondered how Shweta and Abhishek would cope with their father's status when they grew up and understood the dynamics of how the country viewed their father. Amongst common people, those with their first name as Amitabh must be inviting interesting reactions the first time they mention their name to somebody. While some might say what's there in a name, ask the people who have to contend with it!

An article on the Internet titled `Stardom yet to happen`, dated March 21, 2012, brings about the predicament of Abhishek Bachchan. It says: “Abhishek Bachchan has yet to experience the pinnacle of success. Till date, his glory is being questioned by many movie trade analysts. Before his every release the discussions amongst the movie trade analysts about his career and his dropping graph has become worrisome. He has always been compared with his father’s work and experience. Hence his individuality and performance get overshadowed if we take a clue from his twitter where it is clear that father and son will always be a senior and junior Bachchan.” -- (source: http://tinyurl.com/7xs6g5g).

The article adds: “For Abhishek, being born to father like Amitabh Bachchan is the most fortunate event ever happened but at the same time it is the tragedy when it comes to his career. People who don’t know him feel that increasing popularity of Big B is over shadowing Abhishek’s individuality; which they feel can be indirectly affecting Junior Bachchan’s persona.

But people who know him closely vouch on the fact that Abhishek respects his father’s work and popularity. He feels proud talking about his father’s success and achievements. He also knows that his father's achievement and popularity are not something that he has inherited. He has to put in his best effort to make a mark in the film Industry.”

Thus being born to a socially respected and admired person presents a double edged sword. While it is a privilege, it also comes with its share of pressures of being somebody's son or daughter.

This problem need not necessarily be only of children of celebrities. There can be conflicts in homes where a successful parent wants his/her child to follow on his or her path. Or, children could feel a complex within as they naturally start comparing themselves with their parent. The problem and complexities of human identity reveal interesting aspects of human psychology.

While this is a subject in itself and can unravel fascinating aspects about human behaviour, the lesson from Harilal's life is clear – and that is, whether you are born to the rich and famous, or to ordinary parents, the shaping of one's identity is an individual responsibility. More importantly, every individual must take responsibility for his or her life.

At the end of it all, we all will be judged solely by how much we contributed, rather than by how much we received. 

Amitabh And Aamir – A Study In Contrast

Amitabh And Aamir – A Study In Contrast

As TV anchors both are doing the same thing – opening people’s minds,
but their contexts are vastly different. Yet, something is remarkably similar.

I am an ex-journalist. Therefore, my focus while watching the first episode of Satyameva Jayate was on Aamir Khan the anchor, and his performance was truly remarkable. Years ago, TV hosting got a major celebrity boost when Amitabh Bachchan not only revived his personal fortunes but also elevated anchoring to a new orbit with his stupendous performance in Kaun Banega Crorepati (KBC). Aamir Khan too now as the host of Satyameva Jayate has created a benchmark in TV anchoring. In fact, he has taken a step beyond; he has brought real issues to the doorstep of every home and making people take notice with a combination of harsh stories and hard facts. 

In a way, both the As are doing the same thing – opening people’s minds, but their contexts are vastly different. While Amitabh has carried his portrayal of providing `relief` to the masses from the silver screen to the small screen with remarkable grace, Aamir is acting as the conduit to provide relief to people from heart wrenching issues in real life.  

Both the reel personalities, in their own unique way, are having a real time impact on people. While Bachchan is the dream weaver, this Khan is bringing alive the harsh realities of society and human behavior. Their styles are contrasting, but original, yet the subtle similarities they exhibit are intriguing. While Amitabh booms his way into your heart, thereby inviting even more awe and respect for his talent, Aamir, by simply manipulating his voice, tone, expressions and emotions, touches a chord within you which is hard to ignore,. The word manipulating is not used here in a negative sense, as if to suggest that Aamir yet again is just putting on display his excellent acting skills. The word here is used to convey his immaculate timing, so essential to carry out a professional, yet poignant role as an anchor of a show whose philosophy is education and not entertainment.  

Both these mega stars have also effortlessly carried their image and perception amongst the masses to the small screen. The consistency of their actions vis-à-vis their image is remarkable. While Amitabh has always been seen purely as a mega entertainer, Aamir over the years has been seen to combine education and entertainment through films like Taare Zameen Par and 3 Idiots. Therefore, KBC as a entertaining game show has a perfect anchor in Amitabh, and Satyameva Jayate, intended as a conscience arouser, has a perfect host in Aamir. In real life too, while Amitabh sticks to his core job of entertaining people through his films and as KBC host, Aamir does not shy away from taking stands on public issues.   

Thus, it is evident that both these celebrity hosts – also divided by generations as far as their film careers is concerned – operate in completely two different spaces. They carry different mindsets. Yet, one thing unmistakably connects them to their craft and to the masses – their professionalism.
Aamir in a way is creating a parallel legacy in terms of celebrities anchoring programs on television. Many others have attempted the same and have done well too, but none have come close to the quality of anchoring Amitabh and Aamir have put on display. They both – though operating from vastly different contexts -- have this innate ability to connect with the intrinsic hope, aspirations and pain points of people. They are charismatic, larger than life figures, yet through the small screen, they have managed to make people feel they are just one among them. They have utilized a medium to demystify themselves, which the 70 mm screen is hardly likely to achieve, thereby only increasing their RQ (Respect Quotient) in the eyes of people.   

Though still early days for Aamir on the small screen, he has captured the imagination of people like never before. He is building a sense of hope in people which is remarkable to see. When it comes to professional TV hosting, he is truly emerging as a game changer, but can he really change the game when it comes to redressal of people’s real life issues? We will wait and watch.      

    

Pyaasa – Poignant, Painful, Profound

Pyaasa – Poignant, Painful, Profound

Pyaasa highlights the classical human failings of envy, deceit, greed for money and power, and opportunism with such poignancy that you feel the film was made for the times we live in.

I finally watched Guru Dutt’s 1957 classic Pyaasa, considered a text book in film-making, and thereby eradicated from my life the stigma that comes with not having watched this film if you call yourself a Hindi film lover. 

Films that get elevated to the pantheon of the great are given that status because of the timeless relevance they depict. Great film-makers seem to have the ability to latch on to certain supreme human behaviours that haunt society with their negative influence for ages and weave a story around them that shakes the very human conscience. Pyaasa highlights the classical human failings of deceit, envy, greed for money and power, and opportunism with such poignancy that you feel the film was made for the times we live in. Fifty years from now too, a film like Pyaasa will look contemporary and relevant.

Hindi film-makers over the years have tried to depict pain on celluloid by providing that emotion a standing of its own. In Pyaasa, Guru Dutt elevates pain to cult status as he marks out pain in its various forms as effortlessly as an artist marks out the various figures on canvas. Pyaasa highlights the pain of loss in love, the pain of being used for the gain of vested interests, and the pain of living in such an opportunistic and unjust world, where people change colours faster than a chameleon.  

The film, released just ten years after independence, served notice to the internal contradictions of Indian society. India’s challenge, after the British had left was not external, it was internal. The challenge pertained to remaining united even in the face of immense cultural diversity. Being a large country with a huge population, besides cultural contradictions, the crass side of human nature also manifest themselves quite noticeably, but their effects are not always obvious due to the depth of tolerance and apathy that run simultanoeusly in our veins. The twin qualities of tolerance and apathy have provided an imperfect, yet enigmatic backdrop to defining the great Indian character.    

India’s independence came with a huge price in the form of partition and riots, but the greater challenge always was to stay united, which the country has achieved with remarkable grace and maturity, despite the various internal and external threats it has faced since 1947. There is therefore no taking away from the fundamental strength of the Indian democratic fabric, but Pyaasa haunts you at the core of your nature. It provokes you to look within and drive away  enemies inside like jealousy and opportunism from your system.  

Maybe Pyaasa is good remake material too, as Bollywood is in the midst of a season of remakes. But the film and the message -- highlighted in such painful detail, and with such poignancy and profoundness – have the capacity in their original format too to arouse the better side of our nature and send us on a self-introspection trip. 

Watch Pyaasa, if you haven’t already. It will make you thirsty to contribute towards building a more humane society.

Cantankerous Sons Versus Composed Daughters

Cantankerous Sons Versus Composed Daughters

Oh! my God, I thought, you don’t need a gym to lose weight,
you only need sons, who are up and running -- literally -- without serving any notice.

My daughter turned thirteen last December. When Sachin Tendulkar was struggling to get his 100^th 100, many people simply consoled themselves by saying after all, 100 is just a number. But try telling that to my daughter that 13 is after all just a number! The four alphabets t-e-e-n which translate into teen is what got her going. It is just so incredible how much kids want to grow up fast, and even more incredibly, after a few years they wish they hadn’t grown up. That’s the game life plays with unsuspecting humans.

It is also incredible how quickly kids grow up. She is 13, so what’s my age? Well, let’s not bother, simply because children these days not only push your age consciousness hard, but also push you hard as a parent. But really, I am not the right person to make statements about just how difficult parenting is, simply because I am a single child parent, and that too of a daughter, who grew up without much noise and fuss. 

For a while, I really thought parenting was easy, till I ran into live situations of parents managing their son or sons. Oh! my God, I thought, you don’t need a gym to lose weight, you only need sons, who are up and running – literally – almost even before they have learnt crawling – exaggerating of course, but you got the essence of it, right?

I don’t know who is from Mars and who is from Venus, but one thing’s for sure, sons and daughters, in their growing up years, seem to be motivated by diametrically opposite sets of objectives. Sons are cantankerous, loud, and masters of the art and science of `misbehavior` (the English language is so funny, it attaches `mis` to describe behavior, though the female gender is actually the more composed one), whereas daughters are comparatively more composed and caring -- of course, here I am discounting the views of parents with cantankerous, son-like-behavior daughters, or those with daughter-like-behaviour sons (Uff, it is quite complicated to put exceptions in perspective!). 

A lot of couples these days pray for a daughter as their first child – and very often for many the only child – as they feel the girl child is more understanding and more likely to take care of her parents in their old age. I know, I know, that’s not a fair statement on all the wonderful sons who are taking care of their old parents. But then why complain if after centuries of male domination women are beginning to assert their identity, or are at least enjoying the benefit of better perceptions? 

Based on my limited observations about growing up children’s behavior, I have come to the conclusion that boys belong to a highly vibrant and unique club called `keep my parents on their toes`, whereas  daughters – the elder sisters that is -- seem to belong to a club called `why my parents can’t handle my brother all by themselves`. You will hardly come across parents who say that their son help manage their daughter’s tantrums. If the sister is younger, she is advised not to behave like her elder brother – poor soul! The culprit and victim and are more or less determined at birth itself.  

The joke for some time has been that it is better to have daughters as they would get married and move into another family, whereas sons would not only stay on but also fight for your property. Clearly, the male folks need a serious image makeover.   

While sons and daughters display distinct kinesthetic behaviours, one thing however is common; with their FI (Fantastic Intelligence), IAS (Information Assimilation Ability) and TQ (Technology Quotient), they push the limits of their parents’ FI, IAS and TQ, very often causing embarrassment to people of my generation, whose ability, or the lack of it, to come to terms with the dynamics of living whose context is set by the youth can potentially cause a self esteem crisis. Sons and daughters alike today are razor sharp, communicate effortlessly and hate the word `stereotype`.

I think, irrespective of whether you are a parent of a son or a daughter, it is a privilege to be blessed with such children, whose combined energies can create a world of substance way beyond our collective imaginations. The tide has turned friends, children are our vibrant, fast paced teachers and we their reluctant-to-change, slow paced students! Every day spent with your child is like being in school at home. 

It’s not just parenting anymore folks; school has come home.