This Day, Last Year

This Day, Last Year

On June 19, 2011, my life changed forever, yet again!

June 19, 2011 was a momentous day for my friend Samuel Talari (Samee) and me. We launched our book `The 20 20 20 20 Formula For Success` -- 25 Life Changing Principles For Health, Healing And Happiness -- at a well attended function in Mumbai University's Kalina campus. Renowned scholar Mr Asghar Ali Engineer, with whom I worked years ago, was the Chief Guest and released the book.

The irony of the book title is that by the time you finish reading the title, you could have completed reading the book itself, for it is that small, with the main contents being smaller. The feedback we received was that we need to write more substantial books for it to carry better salability, but yes, we received good feedback about its contents and the way the launch program was organised.

But be that as it may, the important point is that after years of struggle, because of the book, the writer in me came alive, and for this I will forever be grateful to Samee, who put it all together and inducted me into the world of publishing. That day, my life changed forever for sure, for in the past year I have become a voracious writer, feeling incomplete if I don't pen something on a regular basis.

Writing was a hidden passion, which I think for lack of substantial content and intellectual maturity had to wait for a real long time before it exploded. Even as a kid and in my growing up years I used to try and write. But it took deeper roots in the six years I spent my life as a journalist, and I am very grateful to that profession for instilling in me a basic understanding of the nuances of writing. I always wondered why I became a journalist. Maybe I now know why!

The reason I say my life changed yet again is because that's been the story of my journey ever since I met my spiritual Guru Dadaji in the year 1989. The day I met and received initiation from him in Pune certainly has to take precedence over any other event in my life. He changed my life forever. A simple man and a spiritual stalwart, he will forever remain the most important person in my life. Though no more in his physical body, his grace and blessings guide me till date and will for the rest of my life, and beyond too.

In late 1993, I learnt Reiki from Dr Sudhir Gesota in Mumbai and my life changed again, forever. I am immensely grateful to Dr Sudhir for the way he taught me Reiki and for the way he nurtured me. Reiki ever since has been the basis of my existence. It resurrected me physically, emotionally, intellectually and spiritually. The desire to spread Reiki is a life long quest.

I met my to-be wife Rita, one of the most amazing souls to inhabit Planet Earth, in 1995, and we got married in early 1996, yet again changing my life forever. Her unconditional love for me and her unconditional acceptance of my personality – which keeps changing with every passing year – gave me an emotional support system which keeps me going despite newer and newer intellectual, spiritual and emotional challenges being thrown at me by God from time to time. She has supported me despite she carrying an almost opposite personality and irrespective of not always being able to understand my behaviour or actions.

In late 1998, our daughter Diksha was born – God answered our prayers for a girl child – and yet again my life changed forever. The sheer process of seeing her grow up has been fascinating to say the least. The fact that we share similar behavioural patterns is just a welcome bonus. Poor wife! she sometimes has to deal with two Hariharans and that too at the same time.

I changed my career to training in the year 2001 and joined IMS, and my life changed forever once more. Here I must mention the year 1987 when my brother Ravi pushed me to undergo Mr Pramod Palekar's public speaking course. Surely, at the end of the course, my life changed forever, and the seeds of a future career in training were sown.

In 2004, I joined Max New York Life Insurance (MNYL), and my life changed forever, as it was in the five-and-a-half years that I spent there that I truly discovered my talents and grew up as a person. Before joining MNYL, I lacked career orientation and professional maturity. I will forever be grateful to MNYL for the contribution it has made to my life.

On June 30, 2009, I spent my last day at MNYL, and from July 1, 2009, I embarked upon a journey to try and set up my own training organisation. In the last three years, the book launch has been the most significant milestone. In this period of struggle to realise my dreams, I have continued to grow as a person.

I have come to realise that many more `forever changes` are waiting to embrace me. After all, change is the only constant and growth the only sensible choice.

They say nothing is forever. But for me, life simply seems to be a series of `forever changes`, each one institutionalising within me a certain growth process, adding more meaning, depth and purpose to that particular space in my persona.

May you too get enriched daily and grow constantly. Do keep visiting this space for more updates on the `forever changes` in my life.

Being A `Gandhi`

Being A `Gandhi`

The problem of being born to an iconic parent may not be Harilal's alone

It is said that comparisons are odious. But there are many people in this world who wish they were born to rich or famous parents, thereby ensuring a smooth and easy life. But little do people realise that it does not necessarily have to translate into a smooth ride for children born to rich and famous people.

A case in point is Harilal Gandhi, son of Mahatma Gandhi. A wonderful film that captures the `burden` of being born a Mahatma's son is `Gandhi My Father`, a 2007 release, directed by Feroz Abbas Khan. While India catapulted Gandhiji to the status of `Father Of The Nation`, his problem was his own father. Harilal held diverse views about life from Gandhiji and couldn't quite fathom the `discrimination` his father meted out to him in the name of universal love and justice. While Gandhiji committed himself to a process of internal evolution, thereby leading him from a barrister to a Mahatma, Harilal wanted to lead a normal life. The film depicts Harilal as openly expressing his displeasure against his father. He undergoes a deep identity crisis, gets into harmful ways, and despite the best efforts of his parents to align him to them, suffers a lonely and painful end.

While it seems fascinating from the outside to be born into the household of a Bachchan, or a Nehru-Gandhi, or an Ambani, the process of coming to terms with expectations of people, or from their own selves, cannot be easy. God has ways of placing various types of problems in people's laps. While the children of the not-so-rich and famous have to grapple with the daily struggles of life, the children of the rich and famous have a different kind of battle to deal with.

As a teen, when Amitabh Bachchan was at the peak of his career and rose to become a integral part of the nation's consciouness, I always wondered how Shweta and Abhishek would cope with their father's status when they grew up and understood the dynamics of how the country viewed their father. Amongst common people, those with their first name as Amitabh must be inviting interesting reactions the first time they mention their name to somebody. While some might say what's there in a name, ask the people who have to contend with it!

An article on the Internet titled `Stardom yet to happen`, dated March 21, 2012, brings about the predicament of Abhishek Bachchan. It says: “Abhishek Bachchan has yet to experience the pinnacle of success. Till date, his glory is being questioned by many movie trade analysts. Before his every release the discussions amongst the movie trade analysts about his career and his dropping graph has become worrisome. He has always been compared with his father’s work and experience. Hence his individuality and performance get overshadowed if we take a clue from his twitter where it is clear that father and son will always be a senior and junior Bachchan.” -- (source: http://tinyurl.com/7xs6g5g).

The article adds: “For Abhishek, being born to father like Amitabh Bachchan is the most fortunate event ever happened but at the same time it is the tragedy when it comes to his career. People who don’t know him feel that increasing popularity of Big B is over shadowing Abhishek’s individuality; which they feel can be indirectly affecting Junior Bachchan’s persona.

But people who know him closely vouch on the fact that Abhishek respects his father’s work and popularity. He feels proud talking about his father’s success and achievements. He also knows that his father's achievement and popularity are not something that he has inherited. He has to put in his best effort to make a mark in the film Industry.”

Thus being born to a socially respected and admired person presents a double edged sword. While it is a privilege, it also comes with its share of pressures of being somebody's son or daughter.

This problem need not necessarily be only of children of celebrities. There can be conflicts in homes where a successful parent wants his/her child to follow on his or her path. Or, children could feel a complex within as they naturally start comparing themselves with their parent. The problem and complexities of human identity reveal interesting aspects of human psychology.

While this is a subject in itself and can unravel fascinating aspects about human behaviour, the lesson from Harilal's life is clear – and that is, whether you are born to the rich and famous, or to ordinary parents, the shaping of one's identity is an individual responsibility. More importantly, every individual must take responsibility for his or her life.

At the end of it all, we all will be judged solely by how much we contributed, rather than by how much we received.