Shashi Kapoor: The Last Of The Kapoor Pioneers

Shashi Kapoor: The Last Of The Kapoor Pioneers

Though Deewar is a Bachchan-centered film, Shashi Kapoor stood out by choosing to let Amitabh's character stand out. Seen from a management perspective, this is an outstanding example of team work, where the individual ego is dismissed to make way for emergence of the larger perspective. Shashi Kapoor not only looked good, he made everyone around him look good too.

The passing away of Shashi Kapoor has invoked a feeling of sadness that comes with losing your friendly neighbour. That's what Shashi Kapoor was – a simple star, a friend who enthralled audiences for decades with his charm, simplicity of acting and intellectual potency. He was simply the star next door, not the one who rose above all of us on cinema screens.

Shashi Kapoor was never counted as amongst the megastars of his era – like his own brothers, Dilip Kumar, Dev Anand, Rajendra Kumar, Rajesh Khanna or Dharmendra. In the '70s of course Amitabh Bachchan's rise relegated all competent and incompetent heroes to the background. Yet, Amitabh's career graph is inseparable from Shashi Kapoor's as they paired to produce some magnetic performances in movies like Deewar, Do Aur Do Paanch, Suhaag, Kabhie Kabhie, Kaala Patthar, Shaan and Namak Halal. In each of these films, Bachchan is the show stopper, but Shashi Kapoor provides the anchor.

The trio of Dharmendra, Shashi Kapoor and Rajesh Khanna had women swooning over them due to their incredibly good looks. In Sharmeelee, Shashi looks stunning to say the least. As his career evolved, he did not strive to be a specialist, like the `romantic Rajesh` or the `angry young man Amitabh`. Shashi was not a brand in that sense. His branding came only from the immortal `Mere Paas Maa Hai` line in Deewar. But even there, Bachchan stole the show with his intense dialogue delivery. Bachchan perhaps has a lot to owe Shashi Kapoor because he made him look good on screen by being a back-peddler than an equal on screen.

It is a tribute to Shashi Kapoor's humility that though he was elder to the Big B and his senior in the industry, he played his younger brother in Deewar. The film is a classic and is iconic for its dialogues, story line, action sequences and direction. Though it's a Bachchan-centered film, Shashi Kapoor stood out by choosing to let Amitabh's character stand out. Seen from a management perspective, this is an outstanding example of team work, where the individual ego is dismissed to make way for emergence of the larger perspective.

Shashi Kapoor aged gracefully and never felt tied down by any image. He seamlessly moved from being a commercial star to doing films with a parallel cinema touch to being cast in character roles. Though the chocolate hero next door in the early days of his career, Shashi Kapoor transited to doing films with depth like New Delhi Times. He even produced quality movies like Kalyug and Junoon. He was perhaps ahead of his times when he directed a super hero film Ajooba with who else, but Bachchan in the lead. While his brother Raj Kapoor will always be remembered for the RK banner and his path-breaking films, Shashi Kapoor too made no mean attempt to add to the intellectual horizon through his brand of film-making. The RK Studios banner has been fledgling since Raj Kapoor's death, but the brand of Shashi Kapoor's films have created a space for themselves in Bollywood. He was the last of the Kapoor pioneers. This is no mean achievement as the masses had mad adulation for his brothers Raj and Shammi and his nephew Rishi.

My personal Shashi Kapoor favourite is his 1981 film Baseraa, in which he co-starred with Raakhee and Rekha. He presents a mature character who is caught between his love for his sick wife and a practical life situation. Though caught between two difficult choices, he stands out as a character and as an actor. This role in a sense typifies Shashi Kapoor for all of us. In his career, he never seen as a mega star, but every mega star he worked with got a fillip because of his presence.

Shashi Kapoor not only looked good, he made everyone around him look good too.

RIP Shashi Kapoor.

A Lesson In Customer Service From A Hotel Waiter

The lady at the counter simply did her job. She was playing it by the book. While she was not wrong, she did not get it right either. But our smiling and caring waiter friend ensured his customers got what they wanted. He ensured we came back happy and delighted.

It is said we can learn from anybody, anywhere and anyhow. A wonderful lesson in creating customer delight came from an unexpected quarter - a hotel waiter.

Our family recently visited Pondicherry. We had to return to Mumbai by flight from Chennai. On our way to Chennai we asked our cab driver to stop at a restaurant which offered the quintessential South Indian meals. We arrived at a well known joint a little after 3 pm. It was closing time for meals but we hoped we could still get to eat. We saw a few people polishing off the meals and so I optimistically asked the lady at the billing counter whether meals were available. She said it had closed and we could eat something else, but not meals. I told her we had come all the way from Mumbai and were keen on having meals. I requested her to do something, but she said it was not possible.

I however persisted and shared our predicament with one of the waiters. I told him we had come from Mumbai. He asked us to sit and went inside. We got concerned as he took a bit too long to return for our comfort. But soon to our utmost delight he returned with three plates of meals and placed them on the table. He managed it though meals time had officially closed.

He ensured we got the servings we wanted. He said he got us the food from the staff quota. It truly was an outstanding example of someone going out of his way to ensure happiness for his customers.

He probably took a risk, bur definitely ensured customer experience was top class. He demonstrated the power of ownership and went beyond his call of duty. He showed us that ownership is a value and has got nothing to do with the money we get paid for doing our job. The lady at the counter simply did her job. She was playing it by the book. While she was not wrong, she did not get it right either. But our smiling and caring waiter friend ensured his customers got what they wanted. He ensured we came back happy and delighted.

He showed that customer service does not stem from politically correct statements on walls, but from an attitude of service and care. He proved Customer Is God, not just in words but also in spirit.

Thanks to him, we came back not just with our stomachs full, but a heart filled with gratitude. An `ordinary` waiter offered us not just food, but an extraordinary lesson in customer service. 

Home Is Where The Behaviours Are

Home Is Where The Behaviours Are

Observing and discussing behaviour styles is now part of dinner table conversations at my home. The other day my wife's cousin who was visiting us discovered that he was probably an Examiner as he simply answered two simple questions: was he slow paced or fast paced and was he people oriented or task oriented?. 

Charity begins at home is an old adage, but so do behaviours. After coming back from.the US post the Asentiv Train The Trainer workshop on Room Full Of Referrals there was a lot of curiosity within my family. "What exactly did you learn?," they asked. 

The best way for me to answer that was to invite them to my first workshop on Room Full Of Referrals. Besides others, it was a family gathering of sorts. My brother, my wife and our daughter sat as participants. As it turned out, my brother and daughter realised they were promoters and my wife found out she was a nurturer. Normally it is hazardous to guess anything about your wife, but I got this one right - yes I knew she was a nurturer. 

Observing and discussing behaviour styles is now part of dinner table conversations at my home. The other day my wife's cousin who was visiting us discovered that he was probably an Examiner as he simply answered two simple questions: was he slow paced or fast paced and was he people oriented or task oriented?. 

We also discussed behaviour styles of other relatives and it seemed so easy for all of us to make an intelligent guess. 

The power of Room Full Of Referrals is truly immense. It is now part of our daily consciousness. 

For me its application is having a huge impact on my interactions with clients and potential clients. I am now able to adapt effortlessly to other people's behaviour styles and structure my communication accordingly.

The other great benefit is that I am able to educate others regarding my own promoter style, which helps them understand me better. The benefits for business conversations are immense if you are educated on behaviour styles.

People Are Different, Treat Them Differently

People Are Different, Treat Them Differently

Room Full Of Referrals program helps people identify four behaviour styles – Go Getter, Promoter, Nurturer and Examiner. Understanding the dynamics within each behaviour style is life changing and relationship altering because you realise why you connect with some people more easily and not so easily with others. It is also scientific as it involves a simple assessment that most importantly indicates what your own style is. 

The Golden Rule says treat people the way you want to be treated. But Tony Alessandra's Platinum Rule says treat people the way they want to be treated.

This was an incredible insight I gathered from the Asentiv Train The Trainer workshop in the US on Room Full Of Referrals. Understanding human behaviour is one of the most fascinating activities in life. Human beings present a wide range of behaviours with varying personality styles, which makes the whole aspect of dealing with people intriguing and absorbing.

A whole lot of research over centuries has been done on human behaviour and personality. While personality types are stored deep within, behaviours are more easy to decipher as they are expressed. Room Full Of Referrals steers clear of personality analysis and simply vouches for its expertise on deciphering human behaviour, which is visible and `in action`. Yet, the trainers insisted we need to keep using the words `tend to` and `typically` for any style of behaviour, as we cannot put anybody into a box.

Room Full Of Referrals is created from a networking and referability context. However, the architecture can be effortlessly adapted for corporates as Room Full Of Relationships. After all, everywhere it is about dealing with people and constructing meaningful relationships. Every business is about working with people. As Dawn Lyons, trainer and co-author of `Room Full Of Referrals` says in the book: “People know people, and the people people know, know more people. So, if referrals come from people, who should we learning more about? People!”

When interpreted in a corporate context, the principle of knowing people better works here too. After all, no organisation can meet its objectives unless its people are in sync with one another. Human beings are wired differently and the key lies in appreciating the difference, especially at the level of behaviour. As Steve Jobs said: “Great things in business are never done by one person. They're done by a team of people.” After all, the biggest challenge to any business does not come from markets or products, it comes from people.

Room Full Of Referrals helps people identify four behaviour styles – Go Getter, Promoter, Nurturer and Examiner. Understanding the dynamics within each behaviour style is life changing and relationship altering because you realise why you connect with some people more easily and not so easily with others. It is also scientific as it involves a simple assessment that most importantly indicates what your own style is.

It is an eye opener to know that Go Getters and Promoters are fast paced, whereas Nurturers and Examiners are slow paced. While Go Getters and Examiners are task oriented, Promoters and Nurturers are people oriented. Having said this, it is critical to understand we all are a combination of all styles, but one or two of them may carry higher intensity. There is no better or worse style or good or bad style. Each style is worth honouring and appreciating.

Now you can see why in a team if A is a Go Getter and B is a Nurturer, they are unlikely to connect at a deeper level unless they adapt themselves to the other person's style. That is the essence of The Platinum Rule – we've got to treat people in a manner they would like to be treated, for all the four styles are wired differently. When we adapt, we are not manipulating, we are in fact honouring the other person's style and wiring.

For me, this understanding has proved magical. Today, I am conscious of who I am and the kind of style I am talking to. As I meet people, I try to make a guess in terms of who could be what and try to adapt my communication accordingly. The workshop provides a framework in terms of being able to guess who is what based on body language, words, etc.

A great learning from the workshop was that within the English language, you can learn four more languages – that of the Go Getter, Promoter, Nurturer and Examiner. Yes, they speak `different` languages. Unless we appreciate and honour this aspect of human behaviour, we are unlikely to strike a great rapport with more than just a few people.

Each style's motivation is different – the Go Getters and Examiners look for results, but their pace and mechanism are different, whereas the Promoter needs fun and the Nurturer wants to build long term relationships.

The Room Full Of Referrals workshop teaches you how to use the four different languages. It is a package – it is result oriented, fun, helps build long term relationships and provides deep insights into human behaviour. Did you notice the language used in the sentence? It speaks to all four styles. This is just one of the benefits of undergoing the workshop.(To know more about Room Full Of Referrals program, please write to me at: hariharan@theentertrainer.in / bharat.jethani@asentiv.com)

My Journey Of Eight Years: Blogo-graphy Of A Reluctant Employee And An Unskilled Entrepreneur

Entrepreneurship looks glamorous for those who are not in it, but aspire for it. But the realities are far more excruciating than one can imagine. The `security` of a job is incredibly comforting, but the `excitement of uncertainty` is what defines entrepreneurship.

July 1, 2009, was the first day of my life when I got up hoping I will never have to work for anyone again. A great friend from Delhi called that morning to wish me the best and said I had opened up a world of unlimited possibilities by my decision to walk out of a well-paying career. His words have stayed with me and continue to inspire me.

The last eight years have been eventful to say the least. I stepped into business with a strong employee-oriented competency with very little understanding of how to sell yourself in the marketplace. Years of practice had made me, like so many others, adept at selling myself at interviews. But soon enough I realised selling yourself at the marketplace was a different ball game altogether.

Business looks great when you are `settled` in it and people are craving for your products. But even the most established entrepreneur will tell you that as a businessman you never feel settled. There is always the uncertainty of the marketplace that stares at your face from time to time. In these eight years, the greatest shift I had to bring within myself was to `become` an entrepreneur and shed the employee mindset.

I was always a reluctant employee. Though committed to the core, I never liked people telling me what I should do. I always wanted to be my own Boss. The only reason I survived in a career for about fifteen years was because from time to time I was blessed with great Bosses and mentors. They ensured I had the space to operate. Space is something I have always craved for. From time to time of course I also encountered seniors who gave the entrepreneurial instinct within me a stronger nudge with their not-so-good behaviours. Yet, I learnt a lot from them too and am grateful for that.

Many people ask me how it feels to be an entrepreneur and some even admire me for my `success`. Eight years on, they feel I have survived the onslaught and stuck it out. Some even want `advise` on how they too can leave their jobs and become `free`. I have always shied away from advising people on entrepreneurship for I truly believe I am still finding myself in the journey. I believe my path is unique. I want to create something which will have my stamp on it. I am fairly stubborn about my desire to create rather than merely tag myself along with an established model or certification to ensure money making is easy. Yes, money is very important – I have never understood its importance as much as I have in the last eight years – but I want to create an organisation of my dreams rather than merely make it a profit-centric model.

The only advise I have for people who want to quit their career and be on their own is never leave your job for the wrong reasons. Never leave because you cannot put up with your Boss, company or work pressure. Such people soon go back to a job because they never wanted to be an entrepreneur, they just wanted to quit their job.

For me, entrepreneurship has been my life's most amazing and adventurous journey. It has been a roller-coaster ride. The freedom from a closed and structured environment has allowed me to express my youthfulness like never before. Today, I write, sing, speak, train and strategise with gay abandon. For me, the adage I learnt in school `success is a journey, not a destination` has come alive in the last eight years. The excitement of having the space to do what you want is incredibly exciting.
Besides creating an entrepreneurship-aligned mindset, the most important area of development for me has been skills. Entrepreneurship requires varied skills, the most important being selling and people management. Given my upbringing, I was never going to be a natural entrepreneur. But I realised I had four critical qualities required to be an entrepreneur:
1. Sense of purpose
2. Risk-taking ability
3. Love for freedom
4. Persistence
I love what Steve Jobs said: “I'm convinced that about half of what separates the successful entrepreneurs from the non-successful ones is pure perseverance. Unless you have a lot of passion about this, you're not going to survive. You're going to give it up. So you've got to have an idea, or a problem or a wrong that you want to right that you're passionate about; otherwise, you're not going to have the perseverance to stick it through.”

Entrepreneurship looks glamorous for those who are not in it, but aspire for it. But the realities are far more excruciating than one can imagine. The `security` of a job is incredibly comforting, but the `excitement of uncertainty` is what defines entrepreneurship. Employment and entreprenuership are two different paradigms. Both are great if you are excited about the space you are in.

I admire a lot of wonderful employees who are focused on what they want and are clear business is not their space. I also find entrepreneurs struggling to cope, but do not have the temperament to be in a job. They lack the discipline to be an entrepreneur and the temperament to be an employee. They are neither here nor there.

If success is measured in terms of money, you can be a rich employee and also a poor entrepreneur. Just being an entrepreneur doesn't make anyone rich. It is a process and at times an excruciatingly long one. You make far more mistakes as an entrepreneur than as an employee. Ability to deal with failures and one's own limitations is an extremely critical quality to be a successful entrepreneur.

My ex-Boss once told me that entrepreneurship is a ten-year game. I have completed eight. The journey and learnings continue with just one guarantee – the excitement of discovering the precious gems in this world is everlasting.

Vinod Khanna – The Man Who Ran Bachchan Close

Vinod Khanna – The Man Who Ran Bachchan Close

When the pages of Bollywood are updated, Khanna would be portrayed as a would-have-been megastar, whereas Amitabh will have the cake and eat it too in terms of literary glory and representation of a career.

Amitabh Bachchan's career, amongst other things, is about two Khannas – Rajesh Khanna, whom he displaced as Superstar and Vinod Khanna, who breathed down his neck by matching his skills frame to frame. Vinod could do whatever Amitabh did – have massive screen presence, pack a punch into the `bad man's` belly with conviction, do comedy and carry a film on his sole shoulders. Khanna too had charisma and held his own in the 70s' even when cast besides Amitabh, who was touted as the one-man industry.

Yet, when the pages of Bollywood are updated, Khanna would be portrayed as a would-have-been megastar, whereas Amitabh will have the cake and eat it too in terms of literary glory and representation of a career.

Interestingly, their careers too took a divergence when they were at the peak of their success and prowess. While Bachchan forayed into politics and then business – only to get routed in both – Khanna took to spiritual seeking, and later made a comeback of sorts into films. Yet, while Amitabh reinvented himself and rose to a different orbit, Vinod Khanna faded away from the cameras and did well in politics. In politics, he did not need to run Bachchan close, as while the Big B moved away decisively from the electoral din and dust, Khanna was a still sitting MP when he breathed his last.

Vinod Khanna perhaps missed being destiny's child in terms of achieving the cult status of Amitabh Bachchan. To my mind, he rose above Bachchan in two parameters – machoism, next best only to the great Dharmendra, and sex appeal. His walk, dialogue delivery, romantic expressions had women fans falling head over heels for him. He was the `Dream Man` who could do what his fans hoped for from such a personality on screen. Yet he never was counted in the league of Amitabh, though the talk was always about him being the Big B's closest competitor in an era which was serenaded by such stalwarts as Rajesh Khanna, Dharmendra, Shatrughan Sinha and Rishi Kapoor. But who knows if Vinod Khanna had stayed the Bollywood course and not ventured into spirituality at the peak of his fame, what history might have had in store for him!

Intriguingly, Vinod Khanna made a mark first as a Bollywood villain. Later, he established himself as a hero with substance. That shows his versatility and depth as an actor.

Like Rajesh Khanna, this Khanna too has left the world largely irrelevant to the contemporary viewer – a shadow of what they were at their peak. While Amitabh continues to amaze, age catches up with Dharmendra, politics consumes Shatrughan Sinha's time and Rishi Kapoor keeps his effervescence alive, Vinod Khanna has passed into eternity, with few significant pages of dedication to this great actor-star a given whenever a book on the superstars of Bollywood is written. His contemporaries watch with agony one more Bollywood great pass on and leave behind memories and a magnificent body of work.

RIP Vinod Khanna!

I Too Was President

If at any time the history of BNI Super Achievers is written, I will feature as one of the Presidents in the Hall of Fame. I indeed carry a three-in-one feeling – delight, gratitude and honour – for having had the opportunity to be on the dais in front of such entrepreneurial stalwarts

Incredible as it may seem, I too was President, albeit of my business networking chapter BNI, whose member I am for about two years now. To be called a President is an honour – wherever, for that is the power of nomenclature and words.

The President of a chapter is the captain of the ship along with the Vice President and the Secretary Treasurer. We three `rookies` were picked and catapulted to lead a team of over fifty entrepreneurs whom we looked up to for our own inspiration daily. The announcement came from nowhere and caught me off-guard, though secretly I had wished for being in that position.

The reason was obvious – it gave me an opportunity to stand and conduct meetings once a week for six months. A motivational speaker and trainer could not have asked for more – a captive audience for six months. The pleasure of welcoming everyone with `Good Morning Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to BNI Super Achievers chapter meeting....` was an experience I will cherish for time immemorial.

The joy of interacting with members from the dais and keeping control of proceedings was yet another amazing experience. Authority in entrepreneurial forums, where everyone is a leader is limited, but responsibility is high. And if you happen to be a President who carries much lesser experience than a lot of your fellow members, you don't just need to stand and deliver, but also find ways to stand tall in their eyes.

The President's role of course goes beyond conducting meetings. The quality of any meeting depends upon what happens post the meeting – the business interactions amongst members on an one-to-one level – and before the meeting – strategies and tactics. It is a leadership role where your authority is defined by guidelines and processes, and does not flow from a corporate-like position.

This is unlike an organisation where you are Boss to your people by position and there is an inherent compliance towards you and your personality. But here it is different. In an entrepreneurial forum, you need to earn your respect by constantly adding value and engaging them in a non-threatening manner. Here, the ground beneath is as vulnerable as the intimidating sky above.

As President I enjoyed setting the vision for the chapter and piloting it to a different level. The idea, not the execution though, is simple – do things that will help members make more money. Having lead teams in my corporate career certainly helped a lot, but being blind to the difference in contexts would have pulled the rug from under my feet even before I could blink twice. That is the challenge when you are dealing with self-made people, who know what they are there in the forum for. Here I was dealing with people far more successful than me in business and yet I carried the humongous responsibility of helping them make more money.

Whether you are a leader in a corporate where your authority flows from your position, or in any forum where your authority flows purely from credibility, the challenge is the same – handling people. In today's world, even the leadership authority that flows from one's formal title is limited; then what to say of a context where you will be back amongst your people just as another member in just six months time! As President, I had to be acutely aware of this reality and conduct myself accordingly.

I took up the responsibility because here was another great opportunity to grow as a person and learn leadership by doing, than just by reading or teaching. I cherish all my leadership roles as an employee, and I will cherish having been President too. Leadership I realise is all about three key things:

1. Adding value
2. Making a difference
3. Leaving a legacy

All these three are the end points of a leader's journey – the stuff by which he will be judged. But getting there requires three other things:

1. Tons of tenacity
2. People management skills
3. Conflict management

Inevitably, a leader has to put up with resistance, for human beings are scarcely easily accepting of authority of any kind – soft or hard. Every leadership assignment brings you face-to-face with people who challenge you and your ideas. At times it can even be a personality clash of sorts. As a leader, while you know who is with you wholeheartedly and who is not, you cannot be biased. This can test your temperament and sense of fairness. It is every good leader's job to rise above these challenges, depersonalise the contexts and operate purely from the larger picture perspective. A leader must always own the failures and pass on the credit to his team.

As President, I received accolades as well as brickbats. While the accolades gave encouragement, the brickbats provided great learnings and helped build my temperament. The one thing I gained from the assignment was a better temperament – the ability to stay calm when at times the tides proved pretty rough. This was crucial for me as I am by nature emotional and sensitive.

All said and done, a leader's fundamental responsibility is to ensure performance. In the end, if you get everything right, but this goes wrong, your legacy is questioned. The biggest satisfaction is that through the rollercoaster ride, we performed. If at any time the history of BNI Super Achievers is written, I will feature as one of the Presidents in the Hall of Fame. I indeed carry a three-in-one feeling – delight, gratitude and honour – for having had the opportunity to be on the dais in front of such entrepreneurial stalwarts.

Keswanis, Madnanis And The Nehrus

Keswanis, Madnanis And The Nehrus

I went to Allahabad to be part of a wedding celebration, 

but came back with a piece of history and a string of legacy

Meandering unintentionally into history can be fascinating as well as intriguing. There is something about legacy which cannot be adequately assimilated in the hundrum of daily.life. Legacy is nurtured just like a gardener nurtures the plants and flowers.

A recent visit to the historical-political-spiritual land of Allahabad brought me face to face with history and legacy at different levels.

With the Keswanis of Delhi I share a bond which promises to create a legacy of sorts in our personal trees of friendship. Through them I got introduced and exposed to the Madnanis of Allahabad.

The Madnanis hold an important place in the modernisation of Allahabad. The first generation entrepreneurs built a business as well as a legacy of sorts. Though generations have grown and built their own personal legacies outside of the original business model, their community living with over 50 people occupying a common piece of land is an inspiring story of bonding and trust. It is a case of being committed and not just different when more and more people are craving for personal spaces far away from the hustle and bustle of relatives. Being with them I realised how they have built their personal spaces - both physically and emotionally - by being around one another - both physically and emotionally.

A visit to the Sangam was a given, yet the serenity amidst the human cacophony was yet another testimony to the spiritual legacy of this amazingly diverse country.

Allahabad and Anand Bhavan are inseparable. The Nehrus' personal and political bastion stands out as a symbol of political struggle at the altar of huge personal sacrifices. This legacy of the Nehru-Gandhi family simply showcases their share in the national consciousness and their unique place in pre- and post-independent India.

As I signed off from Allahabad, known for different things to different people, I realised how I had gone there to be part of a wedding celebration, but came back with a piece of history and a string of legacy.