People Are
Different, Treat Them Differently
The
Golden Rule says treat people the way you want to be treated. But
Tony Alessandra's Platinum Rule says treat people the way they want
to be treated.
This was an incredible insight I gathered from the Asentiv Train The Trainer workshop in the US on Room Full Of Referrals. Understanding human behaviour is one of the most fascinating activities in life. Human beings present a wide range of behaviours with varying personality styles, which makes the whole aspect of dealing with people intriguing and absorbing.
A whole lot of research over centuries has been done on human behaviour and personality. While personality types are stored deep within, behaviours are more easy to decipher as they are expressed. Room Full Of Referrals steers clear of personality analysis and simply vouches for its expertise on deciphering human behaviour, which is visible and `in action`. Yet, the trainers insisted we need to keep using the words `tend to` and `typically` for any style of behaviour, as we cannot put anybody into a box.
Room Full Of Referrals is created from a networking and referability context. However, the architecture can be effortlessly adapted for corporates as Room Full Of Relationships. After all, everywhere it is about dealing with people and constructing meaningful relationships. Every business is about working with people. As Dawn Lyons, trainer and co-author of `Room Full Of Referrals` says in the book: “People know people, and the people people know, know more people. So, if referrals come from people, who should we learning more about? People!”
When interpreted in a corporate context, the principle of knowing people better works here too. After all, no organisation can meet its objectives unless its people are in sync with one another. Human beings are wired differently and the key lies in appreciating the difference, especially at the level of behaviour. As Steve Jobs said: “Great things in business are never done by one person. They're done by a team of people.” After all, the biggest challenge to any business does not come from markets or products, it comes from people.
Room Full Of Referrals helps people identify four behaviour styles – Go Getter, Promoter, Nurturer and Examiner. Understanding the dynamics within each behaviour style is life changing and relationship altering because you realise why you connect with some people more easily and not so easily with others. It is also scientific as it involves a simple assessment that most importantly indicates what your own style is.
It is an eye opener to know that Go Getters and Promoters are fast paced, whereas Nurturers and Examiners are slow paced. While Go Getters and Examiners are task oriented, Promoters and Nurturers are people oriented. Having said this, it is critical to understand we all are a combination of all styles, but one or two of them may carry higher intensity. There is no better or worse style or good or bad style. Each style is worth honouring and appreciating.
Now you can see why in a team if A is a Go Getter and B is a Nurturer, they are unlikely to connect at a deeper level unless they adapt themselves to the other person's style. That is the essence of The Platinum Rule – we've got to treat people in a manner they would like to be treated, for all the four styles are wired differently. When we adapt, we are not manipulating, we are in fact honouring the other person's style and wiring.
For me, this understanding has proved magical. Today, I am conscious of who I am and the kind of style I am talking to. As I meet people, I try to make a guess in terms of who could be what and try to adapt my communication accordingly. The workshop provides a framework in terms of being able to guess who is what based on body language, words, etc.
A great learning from the workshop was that within the English language, you can learn four more languages – that of the Go Getter, Promoter, Nurturer and Examiner. Yes, they speak `different` languages. Unless we appreciate and honour this aspect of human behaviour, we are unlikely to strike a great rapport with more than just a few people.
Each style's motivation is different – the Go Getters and Examiners look for results, but their pace and mechanism are different, whereas the Promoter needs fun and the Nurturer wants to build long term relationships.
The Room Full Of Referrals workshop teaches you how to use the four different languages. It is a package – it is result oriented, fun, helps build long term relationships and provides deep insights into human behaviour. Did you notice the language used in the sentence? It speaks to all four styles. This is just one of the benefits of undergoing the workshop.(To know more about Room Full Of Referrals program, please write to me at: hariharan@theentertrainer.in / bharat.jethani@asentiv.com)
Room
Full Of Referrals program helps people identify four behaviour styles
– Go Getter, Promoter, Nurturer and Examiner. Understanding the
dynamics within each behaviour style is life changing and
relationship altering because you realise why you connect with some
people more easily and not so easily with others. It is also
scientific as it involves a simple assessment that most importantly
indicates what your own style is.
This was an incredible insight I gathered from the Asentiv Train The Trainer workshop in the US on Room Full Of Referrals. Understanding human behaviour is one of the most fascinating activities in life. Human beings present a wide range of behaviours with varying personality styles, which makes the whole aspect of dealing with people intriguing and absorbing.
A whole lot of research over centuries has been done on human behaviour and personality. While personality types are stored deep within, behaviours are more easy to decipher as they are expressed. Room Full Of Referrals steers clear of personality analysis and simply vouches for its expertise on deciphering human behaviour, which is visible and `in action`. Yet, the trainers insisted we need to keep using the words `tend to` and `typically` for any style of behaviour, as we cannot put anybody into a box.
Room Full Of Referrals is created from a networking and referability context. However, the architecture can be effortlessly adapted for corporates as Room Full Of Relationships. After all, everywhere it is about dealing with people and constructing meaningful relationships. Every business is about working with people. As Dawn Lyons, trainer and co-author of `Room Full Of Referrals` says in the book: “People know people, and the people people know, know more people. So, if referrals come from people, who should we learning more about? People!”
When interpreted in a corporate context, the principle of knowing people better works here too. After all, no organisation can meet its objectives unless its people are in sync with one another. Human beings are wired differently and the key lies in appreciating the difference, especially at the level of behaviour. As Steve Jobs said: “Great things in business are never done by one person. They're done by a team of people.” After all, the biggest challenge to any business does not come from markets or products, it comes from people.
Room Full Of Referrals helps people identify four behaviour styles – Go Getter, Promoter, Nurturer and Examiner. Understanding the dynamics within each behaviour style is life changing and relationship altering because you realise why you connect with some people more easily and not so easily with others. It is also scientific as it involves a simple assessment that most importantly indicates what your own style is.
It is an eye opener to know that Go Getters and Promoters are fast paced, whereas Nurturers and Examiners are slow paced. While Go Getters and Examiners are task oriented, Promoters and Nurturers are people oriented. Having said this, it is critical to understand we all are a combination of all styles, but one or two of them may carry higher intensity. There is no better or worse style or good or bad style. Each style is worth honouring and appreciating.
Now you can see why in a team if A is a Go Getter and B is a Nurturer, they are unlikely to connect at a deeper level unless they adapt themselves to the other person's style. That is the essence of The Platinum Rule – we've got to treat people in a manner they would like to be treated, for all the four styles are wired differently. When we adapt, we are not manipulating, we are in fact honouring the other person's style and wiring.
For me, this understanding has proved magical. Today, I am conscious of who I am and the kind of style I am talking to. As I meet people, I try to make a guess in terms of who could be what and try to adapt my communication accordingly. The workshop provides a framework in terms of being able to guess who is what based on body language, words, etc.
A great learning from the workshop was that within the English language, you can learn four more languages – that of the Go Getter, Promoter, Nurturer and Examiner. Yes, they speak `different` languages. Unless we appreciate and honour this aspect of human behaviour, we are unlikely to strike a great rapport with more than just a few people.
Each style's motivation is different – the Go Getters and Examiners look for results, but their pace and mechanism are different, whereas the Promoter needs fun and the Nurturer wants to build long term relationships.
The Room Full Of Referrals workshop teaches you how to use the four different languages. It is a package – it is result oriented, fun, helps build long term relationships and provides deep insights into human behaviour. Did you notice the language used in the sentence? It speaks to all four styles. This is just one of the benefits of undergoing the workshop.(To know more about Room Full Of Referrals program, please write to me at: hariharan@theentertrainer.in / bharat.jethani@asentiv.com)
