Cantankerous Sons Versus Composed Daughters

Cantankerous Sons Versus Composed Daughters

Oh! my God, I thought, you don’t need a gym to lose weight,
you only need sons, who are up and running -- literally -- without serving any notice.

My daughter turned thirteen last December. When Sachin Tendulkar was struggling to get his 100^th 100, many people simply consoled themselves by saying after all, 100 is just a number. But try telling that to my daughter that 13 is after all just a number! The four alphabets t-e-e-n which translate into teen is what got her going. It is just so incredible how much kids want to grow up fast, and even more incredibly, after a few years they wish they hadn’t grown up. That’s the game life plays with unsuspecting humans.

It is also incredible how quickly kids grow up. She is 13, so what’s my age? Well, let’s not bother, simply because children these days not only push your age consciousness hard, but also push you hard as a parent. But really, I am not the right person to make statements about just how difficult parenting is, simply because I am a single child parent, and that too of a daughter, who grew up without much noise and fuss. 

For a while, I really thought parenting was easy, till I ran into live situations of parents managing their son or sons. Oh! my God, I thought, you don’t need a gym to lose weight, you only need sons, who are up and running – literally – almost even before they have learnt crawling – exaggerating of course, but you got the essence of it, right?

I don’t know who is from Mars and who is from Venus, but one thing’s for sure, sons and daughters, in their growing up years, seem to be motivated by diametrically opposite sets of objectives. Sons are cantankerous, loud, and masters of the art and science of `misbehavior` (the English language is so funny, it attaches `mis` to describe behavior, though the female gender is actually the more composed one), whereas daughters are comparatively more composed and caring -- of course, here I am discounting the views of parents with cantankerous, son-like-behavior daughters, or those with daughter-like-behaviour sons (Uff, it is quite complicated to put exceptions in perspective!). 

A lot of couples these days pray for a daughter as their first child – and very often for many the only child – as they feel the girl child is more understanding and more likely to take care of her parents in their old age. I know, I know, that’s not a fair statement on all the wonderful sons who are taking care of their old parents. But then why complain if after centuries of male domination women are beginning to assert their identity, or are at least enjoying the benefit of better perceptions? 

Based on my limited observations about growing up children’s behavior, I have come to the conclusion that boys belong to a highly vibrant and unique club called `keep my parents on their toes`, whereas  daughters – the elder sisters that is -- seem to belong to a club called `why my parents can’t handle my brother all by themselves`. You will hardly come across parents who say that their son help manage their daughter’s tantrums. If the sister is younger, she is advised not to behave like her elder brother – poor soul! The culprit and victim and are more or less determined at birth itself.  

The joke for some time has been that it is better to have daughters as they would get married and move into another family, whereas sons would not only stay on but also fight for your property. Clearly, the male folks need a serious image makeover.   

While sons and daughters display distinct kinesthetic behaviours, one thing however is common; with their FI (Fantastic Intelligence), IAS (Information Assimilation Ability) and TQ (Technology Quotient), they push the limits of their parents’ FI, IAS and TQ, very often causing embarrassment to people of my generation, whose ability, or the lack of it, to come to terms with the dynamics of living whose context is set by the youth can potentially cause a self esteem crisis. Sons and daughters alike today are razor sharp, communicate effortlessly and hate the word `stereotype`.

I think, irrespective of whether you are a parent of a son or a daughter, it is a privilege to be blessed with such children, whose combined energies can create a world of substance way beyond our collective imaginations. The tide has turned friends, children are our vibrant, fast paced teachers and we their reluctant-to-change, slow paced students! Every day spent with your child is like being in school at home. 

It’s not just parenting anymore folks; school has come home.