शनिवार, 19 जनवरी 2013

I Am Experiencing Labour Pain


I Am Experiencing Labour Pain
While women experience physical labour pain at the time of delivering a baby, anybody with an intense desire to create something out of just but a wishful of ideas also experiences labour pain of a different kind, which lasts much longer and causes at times incomprehendible pangs.
 It was a bit of a bad day today. I behaved like a bad boy, picking up a fight with an associate and sending a sarcastic SMS to a friend. Generally felt low and spoilt my own mood. But as the day naturally started to fade, giving way to the night, I felt I was experiencing pangs of a journey which always promised excitement, but was never going to be easy.
These are what I call as labour pangs, born out of a desire to manifest an aspect of creation which is deeply entrenched in my mind, heart and consciousness. While women experience physical labour pain at the time of delivering a baby, anybody with an intense desire to create something out of just but a wishful of ideas also experiences labour pain of a different kind, which lasts much longer and causes at times incomprehendible pangs. This kind of labour pain is not reserved just for the one sex, it entraps anyone who is undertaking a conscious journey of giving expression to an imagery which is purely his or her own.
Over the last three-and-a-half years, I have been intensely engaged in recreating myself as well as trying to create an institution which will cater to the holistic learning needs of humanity. Accompanying this grand vision is a not-so-grand but critical endeavour of surviving mentally, physically, emotionally and financially till such time the grand idea finds a right context and time for delivery into a larger space in the world, and then keeps growing from thereon. I wonder whether the time has now come for me to give expression to my grand vision in a manner which goes beyond my own self and starts taking baby steps towards encompassing a larger mass of people into its fold.
The restless energies within are urging me to take the next big step towards growing my vision and adding fuel to the idea of establishing a legacy-creating institution. It has been a courageous journey so far, but perhaps the time has now come to move beyond courage and into a deeper and more substantial context, a context which, for someone brought up on strong middle class values, is as intimidating as a vast, stretched out desert.
Even as I exist in the world outside, the world within is perhaps making a clarion call to begin to move into the future in a more substantive way. The calling perhaps is to make the year 2013 count, and mark it out as a year which will lay the foundation for the construction of a grand life and an even grander institution.
The journey, in a way, has already taken a certain toll, yet it has just started to shake the foundation within me to erect a profoundly elevated life. My labour pain is very similar to the physical one, where the mother is relieved to have delivered the baby, but knows this is really only the beginning.
Quite simply, my journey has just started, and what lies ahead is very exciting, but the challenge has grown just a bit bigger. Time to move on with an even greater sense of purpose and vigour.  

 

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