GROW UP, Don't Just Grow Up!

GROW UP, Don't Just Grow Up!

To create a `Better I` could be a nice New Year Resolution.

Recently, one of my childhood friends commented that over the years I had really evolved as a person. He is absolutely right. What I was two decades ago and what I am trying to become today seem like opposite ends of a pole, yet the truth is the person is the same. When I look back at some of my old photographs, the contrast is stark. I feel good that I look better, have more confidence, have a deeper sense of purpose, and most importantly, is keen to learn and grow.

This blog obviously is not about me, but when I reflect on my life and the year that is just about to slip into a new one, I feel happy that God has instilled in me the capacity to constantly work on myself. This has happened in 2012 as well as over the past so many years. The turning point of course came in the year 1989 when I met my spiritual Guru Dadaji, and then again in 1993, when I learnt Reiki Level 1 from Dr Sudhir. Meditation and Reiki have since been the foundation on which I have based my life, and they have led me through series of `personality evolving mechanisms` and transformed me from my core, so to say. It has been a truly fascinating transforming experience.

But as I look around and observe the way people go about their day-to-day business, I find that many of them are simply growing up physically, but their mental, intellectual and spiritual potentialities lie suppressed under the heavy weight of a survival instinct. To say that people evolve and mature with age is just a stereotype. People really evolve when they make learning and self observation a critical habit. Physical growth is an automatic process, and survival a very basic talent. As a process, they don't require any great human interference. Yet, I find people are so entrapped in living for living sake that the true purpose of life is lost on them.

Growing up is really about understanding, changing, learning and behaving. It is a behavioural process. The kind of words we use in our daily conversations reflects our internal maturity. Physically, we all grow older everyday, but the real thing is to grow on the subtler planes – mental, intellectual, emotional and spiritual. Life is really encased within these planes, with the body being the critical vehicle to create the life of our perceptions.

Death to me is a great concept which enriches life. But when people are stuck in survival mode and refuse to grow up, they behave as if they will never die. This pushes them back everyday and constricts their vision of life itself. Nobody wants to die, but the desire to live for living sake is a sure recipe for a life of struggle. While struggle is inevitable, the choice to be made is whether we want to indulge in a struggle for survival, or a struggle to become better today than what we were yesterday.

Thus, life truly has to be lived intensely everyday without a break. While the days, weeks, months and years create a pattern, every day we have an opportunity to add to the dimensions of the pattern. Much of the sufferings people experience as they add years to their lives is because of the lack of ability to frame responses to various situations – both foreseen and unforeseen. The answer really lies in becoming not just better at what we do, but in becoming a `Better I` every day.

So, as we bid goodbye to another year and usher in a new one, I urge all of you resolve to make yourself a better person – mentally, emotionally, intellectually and spiritually – by the end of 2013 than what you are right now. To create a `Better I` could be a nice New Year Resolution.

Thank you 2012, and Welcome 2013!        

Why Tendulkar's Retirement Is Not `His Concern` Alone

Why Tendulkar's Retirement Is Not `His Concern` Alone

Just as every day of his cricketing exploits has not been his business alone, his retirement too – perhaps unfortunately for Sachin the individual – is not his concern alone, for Tendulkar is not just a great cricketer, he is a CONTEXT unto himself.

As a writer, one of the things I am conscious of is not to join in in a debate with a herd psychology. Therefore, I was reluctant to participate actively in the Tendulkar retirement debate, for who am I, a mere mortal amongst humans, with only aspirations of becoming extraordinary, to say when a legend like Tendulkar should retire? But I have still dared to step in, for as a writer, I am interested in analysing the pyschology that pervades our society from time to time, with the express intent to add to the profoundness of discussion. So, here is my take on the `Great Tendulkar Retirement Debate`.

Public life comes with a price, and that price is being subject to massive attention and scrutiny. But for Sachin Tendulkar, it is not just about handling attention and pressure of expectations, it is living up to the God-like image in the hearts and minds of people.

Yes, Indians can be pretty fickle minded. When the going is good, they can make Gods out of mere mortals and when the God fails, they can denigrate him with as much swiftness, which comes as a total surprise to the person in question. But I suspect in the case of Tendulkar, it is a little different. He is not just another public figure, he is the symbol of a resurgent post-liberalisation India. He is what every middle class Indian aspired for. He is not a rags to riches story – a typically pre-liberalisation `success romanticism`; he is what a cross section of talented middle class Indians sought for themselves – expression and dominance over limiting forces.

If Amitabh Bachchan provided relief in the '70s and '80s to tired masses through his angry young man roles on reel, Tendulkar, in real life, heralded the era of self belief in the country. He broke the first rule that you need to be of a certain age to go after success. He liberated the middle class from the guilt of earning lots of money and leading the good life. He taught his countrymen that if you perform, you can stay ahead of everyone else, and that the only way to answer your critics is to perform better.

He for over two decades has symbolised what India has been aspiring to be – a predominant force on the global platform. While cricket has very limited global reach, his performances and career longevity have helped struggling masses take hope and stretch the limits of their imagination in terms of what is possible. They take inspiration from him in various quarters of their life, as he is a role model for sustained performance. There is no one who has taught them better how to adapt and reinvent in an information-driven world where validity of yesterday's competencies are questioned today.

For India, Tendulkar is not just a great sportsman. He is a teacher and a role model student. The impact of his persona and achievements cannot be cocooned merely within a statistical framework. The nation looks up to him for answers when stuck in a rut, or when its people run out of ideas in their day-to-day dealings with life. They cannot afford him to fail, for then they lose faith in their own inner fabric. He is a part of their daily consciousness.

Therefore, as the debate about Tendulkar's retirement heats up, on the back of a run of poor performances, it unfortunately is not his business alone. Yes, he is not God, he is merely an extraordinary human being, who has been tutoring the world for over two decades with his cricketing exploits how to become extraordinary, through inch by inch addition of that little extra to their repertoire.

But for the masses, he is the `God Of Cricket` encased in a human body, whose failures are hurting their morale and self confidence. They cannot afford to see him leave the arena after being dealt a knockout punch. He has lived life on his own terms for the past so many years, mirroring millions' desire to do the same. But in a country, which is hooked on to relief as a concept, it is quite satisfying for them to see one man spearhead the mission of leading life on his terms, from which they derive an irrational but very real sense of satisfaction and retribution.

So, the problem with Tendulkar's form is not just about his contribution to the Indian cricket team. It has a deeper resonance in the very character of Indian society. The question before the nation is whether he will be able to call it a day on his own terms or not? A failure to do so will not affect people's respect for him, but it carries the extremely uncomfortable threat of denting their own self confidence, at a time when life in India, given its social-political complexities, is becoming difficult to handle.

For the nation, it is important Tendulkar goes out on a high – on his terms, with people asking why now, rather than why not now? They want to give him a hero's sendoff, deserving of a legend who set benchmarks which would not only require more than extraordinary skill and will power, but also a width and stretch of imagination that is conferred only on a select few in the world.

Yes, as an individual, he has every right to be the only one to decide when to hang up his cricketing boots, but given that he has been such a phenomenon, Sachin cannot be isolated from the consciousness, pressures and unreasonable expectations from people. In this respect alone, it makes him the most towering social personality in post-liberalisation India.

Therefore, just as every day of his cricketing exploits has not been his business alone – literally speaking, businesses for long have been looking to thrive on the kind of performance he delivers on the cricket field by roping him in for brand endorsements – his retirement too – perhaps unfortunately for Sachin the individual – is not his concern alone, for Sachin Tendulkar is not just a great cricketer, he is a CONTEXT unto himself.

An Interview With Money

                                                              An Interview With Money

This is an extract from our book `Honey, I Love Money, Success And You!` launched on Nov 28, 2012. In this chapter, the authors Harry and Samee engage in an absorbing conversation with `MONEY`.

                                                   (Ebook Details On Amazon.com)

Digital List Price:$1.49

Kindle Price (US$):$1.49

Kindle Price (INR):Rs. 85.97 includes free international wireless delivery via Amazon Whispernet

(Physical Copy available at Kitab Khana bookstore, Fort, Near Flora   Fountain, Mumbai; Cover Price: Rs 120/-).

ebook link: Honey, I Love Money. Success and You!


AN INTERVIEW WITH MONEY

By Hariharan Iyer and Samuel Talari

Friends, we have today with us somebody whom everybody dreams of having in huge quantity. But unfortunately, only few people manage to get their hands around this person with any degree of satisfaction. This personality is an enigma, and this person is `MONEY`.

Hariharan Iyer (Harry): Hello MONEY. Welcome to Honey, I Love Money, Success And You!

MONEY: Thank you. It’s a pleasure to be here. You guys are doing a wonderful job.

Samuel Talari (Samee): You seem to be keeping a track of what we are doing!

MONEY: Yeah, I always keep a track of people who are trying to do something meaningful in life. Thank you for sending me the chapter `25 Life Changing Principles For Health, Healing, Harmony And Happiness`. While every principle has a deep meaning, there are two I particularly like: The 20 20 20 20 Formula and Decide What You Want To Be – Comfortable Or Successful? I like their uniqueness.

Harry and Samee: Thanks for the compliment.

Samee: I'm sure interviewing you will only add to the book's enrichment.
(MONEY, slightly embarrassed, simply smiled).

Harry: How does it feel to be the most wanted person in this world?

MONEY (with a light chuckle): It feels good, but it is also a lot of responsibility.

Harry: Why do you say that?

MONEY: Because you don’t want to be misused. The most difficult part is that everybody wants me, but once they have me, they should not lose control over how they use me, because losing me is more painful than acquiring me.

Samee: That’s a very intriguing and interesting thing you say.

MONEY: What I mean is everybody wants me, but not everybody knows how to retain me after they get me, or they land themselves in unpleasant situations for getting me the way they did. Greed and unethical acquisition of wealth are the greatest roadblocks to acquiring sustainable financial abundance. Greedy people, even if they acquire a lot of money, will eventually lose their wealth and peace of mind.

And for many others in this world, I want to be with them, but they don’t know how to attract me. And then I get labeled as bad.

Samee: You are actually the best!

MONEY: Yeah, but people should know how to strike a relationship with me. I always wanted to share with the world how to have lots of me in their lives. I am very happy I can do that through this book.

Harry: Yes, that is our objective too. We thank you for agreeing for the interview.

MONEY: The pleasure is all mine!

Samee: Why are you such an enigma?

MONEY: I am not really an enigma. I pervade people’s consciousness. The terms poor, middle class and rich come from my context in people’s lives. People’s lifestyles are categorised on the basis of their bank balance. Yet….yes, you are right, people don’t understand me.

Harry: What is the reason for that?

MONEY: It has got to do with your culture. Children from a young age are taught the following things about money:

• I don’t need money…

• Too much money is bad...

• Money corrupts...

• Money is difficult to make...

• The rich are thieves...

• Money does not grow on trees...

• Learn to live within your means...

So emotionally and psychologically, many people feel a sense of struggle whenever they think of me. They don’t like me, but they cannot live without me either. I am not saying having lots of money in life is success, for success means different things to different people. But money is definitely a measurement of success. After all, what use is success if you have to struggle for money?

Samee (appearing contemplative, haltingly restated what MONEY said): Money is not success, but is a measurement of success. Wow! Wonderful!

(…recovering to his normal exuberant tone)

It’s ironic, isn’t it? Many people don’t like you, but they can’t live without you?

MONEY: Yes, funnily, people who are not comfortable with me actually leave their homes everyday, irrespective of whether they like their work or not, to bring me home. I want to be their friend, but they have made me their master.

Samee: What is that people need to do to make you their friend?

MONEY: They need to first of all understand my nature. I am an important part of what is called as Abundance. There are different types of abundance: health abundance, intellectual abundance, emotional abundance, financial abundance, spiritual abundance, etc. People who focus on abundance and not lack will have more than enough of me in their lives. Just as they respect other aspects of abundance, they should respect me too. But unfortunately, just as people sometimes are casual or negligent about other forms of abundance, they are negligent about financial abundance too.

Harry: But aren’t all forms of abundance inter-related?

MONEY: Absolutely. They are inter-related. But your culture has created compartments and people have isolated me in their minds. I find it hypocritical that many people blame government policies for their lack of financial abundance, rather than looking within themselves and changing their attitude towards me.

Abundance is connected to the heart. The more open you are about receiving and giving the good things of life, the more you can have each of them. Financial abundance is also connected to your mental and spiritual outlook to life. The moment people want to have more money, not just for themselves and their family, but also for doing good to people at large, I will be flying into their lives. In that sense, I like it more when people attach a spiritual and emotional quality to me.

Recreating Self, Recreating Life

Recreating Self, Recreating Life
Every day of my life I can create what I want. For example, I created this blog. It is a small thing, but the fact that I am the father of this piece gives me a huge kick.

It is now three-and-a-half years since I left Max New York Life as a Zonal Training Head to start out on my own. This period has been incredible to say the least. The process of recreating self to create a life of my dreams has been fascinating. Along the way, I have made some mistakes – and some serious ones -- which have only made me better and stronger. In this journey, you pay for your mistakes, there is no pardon.

A lot of people ask me how I am doing after I quit my job. It is a straightforward question for which unfortunately I have no straightforward answer because I haven't quite made the money as yet that can make me feel successful, or give the world the confidence that the risk is worth taking. Yet, in this period, is it any less achievement for a middle class boy next door to have earned every single rupee on the might of his own talent and effort than on the back of an employer's judgement of how good or bad he is? Having said this, leaving a well paying job and pursuing a purpose is a gutsy decision, for it is fraught with danger of failure, which, if not handled well, can not only set you back professionally, but also dent your confidence and morale.

Money is an important measurement of success, but to treat it as the sole measurement robs one of the charm of exploring the journey of one's chosen path. Success is truly a journey, not a destination, and I have never understood this more than in this last three-and-a-half years. This journey takes me to various places, makes me meet different types of people, and more importantly, it has provided me with the opportunity to create my own little milestones. What keeps me going despite various hurdles, rejections and problems is the opportunity to create what I want. My decision to leave my job was not just a way to buy my freedom, but critically, it was to throw open the world, so that limitless opportunities and possibilities can open up.

Every day of my life I can create what I want. For example, I created this blog. It is a small thing, but the fact that I am the father of this piece gives me a huge kick. Every day of my life is an opportunity to create something, or put in place a foundation or process to create something later. In the period since I started out on my own, I have come to value my thoughts and emotions more than ever before, for now I am accountable for everything that happens. While it is not easy to feel responsible for every minute of one's life, it is incredibly fascinating that within this sense of responsibility lies the immense and continuous opportunity to create, recreate and create.

The most important aspect of recreating my life has been the process of recreating myself. It is always an arduous task to change oneself, for it is not pleasant to know that you lack something. It also calls for constant learning and adaptability to different situations. While it is fascinating to have a limitless opportunity to create, being on your own also exposes you to the various dynamics of life, as in a job, we live a cocooned life, where the dynamics are predictable, even if varied. When you decide to earn a living on your own terms, it extracts a price – and that price is inculcation of an ability to feel certain within constant uncertainty. I have realised that if you want to stay put on the journey and have decided to make it an irreversible process, the only way is to stay positive at all points of time. It is tough to stay so positively positive, but really there is no choice if the choice is not to go back to a past paradigm of life.

While I struggle and march on to recreate my life, the only thing I constantly seek is to be able to continue on this journey. More than the little successes I have created, or the setbacks I have had to handle from time to time, I am completely hooked on to this journey. I have come to truly love this process of learning, being, and doing. As long as I stay on this journey, I can consider myself to be successful, for success is truly a journey, not a destination.

Recreating Self, Recreating Life

Recreating Self, Recreating Life
Every day of my life I can create what I want. For example, I created this blog. It is a small thing, but the fact that I am the father of this piece gives me a huge kick.

It is now three-and-a-half years since I left Max New York Life as a Zonal Training Head to start out on my own. This period has been incredible to say the least. The process of recreating self to create a life of my dreams has been fascinating. Along the way, I have made some mistakes – and some serious ones -- which have only made me better and stronger. In this journey, you pay for your mistakes, there is no pardon.

A lot of people ask me how I am doing after I quit my job. It is a straightforward question for which unfortunately I have no straightforward answer because I haven't quite made the money as yet that can make me feel successful, or give the world the confidence that the risk is worth taking. Yet, in this period, is it any less achievement for a middle class boy next door to have earned every single rupee on the might of his own talent and effort than on the back of an employer's judgement of how good or bad he is? Having said this, leaving a well paying job and pursuing a purpose is a gutsy decision, for it is fraught with danger of failure, which, if not handled well, can not only set you back professionally, but also dent your confidence and morale.

Money is an important measurement of success, but to treat it as the sole measurement robs one of the charm of exploring the journey of one's chosen path. Success is truly a journey, not a destination, and I have never understood this more than in this last three-and-a-half years. This journey takes me to various places, makes me meet different types of people, and more importantly, it has provided me with the opportunity to create my own little milestones. What keeps me going despite various hurdles, rejections and problems is the opportunity to create what I want. My decision to leave my job was not just a way to buy my freedom, but critically, it was to throw open the world, so that limitless opportunities and possibilities can open up.

Every day of my life I can create what I want. For example, I created this blog. It is a small thing, but the fact that I am the father of this piece gives me a huge kick. Every day of my life is an opportunity to create something, or put in place a foundation or process to create something later. In the period since I started out on my own, I have come to value my thoughts and emotions more than ever before, for now I am accountable for everything that happens. While it is not easy to feel responsible for every minute of one's life, it is incredibly fascinating that within this sense of responsibility lies the immense and continuous opportunity to create, recreate and create.

The most important aspect of recreating my life has been the process of recreating myself. It is always an arduous task to change oneself, for it is not pleasant to know that you lack something. It also calls for constant learning and adaptability to different situations. While it is fascinating to have a limitless opportunity to create, being on your own also exposes you to the various dynamics of life, as in a job, we live a cocooned life, where the dynamics are predictable, even if varied. When you decide to earn a living on your own terms, it extracts a price – and that price is inculcation of an ability to feel certain within constant uncertainty. I have realised that if you want to stay put on the journey and have decided to make it an irreversible process, the only way is to stay positive at all points of time. It is tough to stay so positively positive, but really there is no choice if the choice is not to go back to a past paradigm of life.

While I struggle and march on to recreate my life, the only thing I constantly seek is to be able to continue on this journey. More than the little successes I have created, or the setbacks I have had to handle from time to time, I am completely hooked on to this journey. I have come to truly love this process of learning, being, and doing. As long as I stay on this journey, I can consider myself to be successful, for success is truly a journey, not a destination.