Recreating Self, Recreating Life
Every day of my life I can create what I want. For example, I created this blog. It is a small thing, but the fact that I am the father of this piece gives me a huge kick.
Every day of my life I can create what I want. For example, I created this blog. It is a small thing, but the fact that I am the father of this piece gives me a huge kick.
It is now three-and-a-half years since I left Max New York Life as a Zonal Training Head to start out on my own. This period has been incredible to say the least. The process of recreating self to create a life of my dreams has been fascinating. Along the way, I have made some mistakes – and some serious ones -- which have only made me better and stronger. In this journey, you pay for your mistakes, there is no pardon.
A lot of people ask me how I am doing after I quit my job. It is a straightforward question for which unfortunately I have no straightforward answer because I haven't quite made the money as yet that can make me feel successful, or give the world the confidence that the risk is worth taking. Yet, in this period, is it any less achievement for a middle class boy next door to have earned every single rupee on the might of his own talent and effort than on the back of an employer's judgement of how good or bad he is? Having said this, leaving a well paying job and pursuing a purpose is a gutsy decision, for it is fraught with danger of failure, which, if not handled well, can not only set you back professionally, but also dent your confidence and morale.
Money is an important measurement of success, but to treat it as the sole measurement robs one of the charm of exploring the journey of one's chosen path. Success is truly a journey, not a destination, and I have never understood this more than in this last three-and-a-half years. This journey takes me to various places, makes me meet different types of people, and more importantly, it has provided me with the opportunity to create my own little milestones. What keeps me going despite various hurdles, rejections and problems is the opportunity to create what I want. My decision to leave my job was not just a way to buy my freedom, but critically, it was to throw open the world, so that limitless opportunities and possibilities can open up.
Every day of my life I can create what I want. For example, I created this blog. It is a small thing, but the fact that I am the father of this piece gives me a huge kick. Every day of my life is an opportunity to create something, or put in place a foundation or process to create something later. In the period since I started out on my own, I have come to value my thoughts and emotions more than ever before, for now I am accountable for everything that happens. While it is not easy to feel responsible for every minute of one's life, it is incredibly fascinating that within this sense of responsibility lies the immense and continuous opportunity to create, recreate and create.
The most important aspect of recreating my life has been the process of recreating myself. It is always an arduous task to change oneself, for it is not pleasant to know that you lack something. It also calls for constant learning and adaptability to different situations. While it is fascinating to have a limitless opportunity to create, being on your own also exposes you to the various dynamics of life, as in a job, we live a cocooned life, where the dynamics are predictable, even if varied. When you decide to earn a living on your own terms, it extracts a price – and that price is inculcation of an ability to feel certain within constant uncertainty. I have realised that if you want to stay put on the journey and have decided to make it an irreversible process, the only way is to stay positive at all points of time. It is tough to stay so positively positive, but really there is no choice if the choice is not to go back to a past paradigm of life.
While I struggle and march on to recreate my life, the only thing I constantly seek is to be able to continue on this journey. More than the little successes I have created, or the setbacks I have had to handle from time to time, I am completely hooked on to this journey. I have come to truly love this process of learning, being, and doing. As long as I stay on this journey, I can consider myself to be successful, for success is truly a journey, not a destination.
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