GROW UP, Don't Just Grow Up!

GROW UP, Don't Just Grow Up!

To create a `Better I` could be a nice New Year Resolution.

Recently, one of my childhood friends commented that over the years I had really evolved as a person. He is absolutely right. What I was two decades ago and what I am trying to become today seem like opposite ends of a pole, yet the truth is the person is the same. When I look back at some of my old photographs, the contrast is stark. I feel good that I look better, have more confidence, have a deeper sense of purpose, and most importantly, is keen to learn and grow.

This blog obviously is not about me, but when I reflect on my life and the year that is just about to slip into a new one, I feel happy that God has instilled in me the capacity to constantly work on myself. This has happened in 2012 as well as over the past so many years. The turning point of course came in the year 1989 when I met my spiritual Guru Dadaji, and then again in 1993, when I learnt Reiki Level 1 from Dr Sudhir. Meditation and Reiki have since been the foundation on which I have based my life, and they have led me through series of `personality evolving mechanisms` and transformed me from my core, so to say. It has been a truly fascinating transforming experience.

But as I look around and observe the way people go about their day-to-day business, I find that many of them are simply growing up physically, but their mental, intellectual and spiritual potentialities lie suppressed under the heavy weight of a survival instinct. To say that people evolve and mature with age is just a stereotype. People really evolve when they make learning and self observation a critical habit. Physical growth is an automatic process, and survival a very basic talent. As a process, they don't require any great human interference. Yet, I find people are so entrapped in living for living sake that the true purpose of life is lost on them.

Growing up is really about understanding, changing, learning and behaving. It is a behavioural process. The kind of words we use in our daily conversations reflects our internal maturity. Physically, we all grow older everyday, but the real thing is to grow on the subtler planes – mental, intellectual, emotional and spiritual. Life is really encased within these planes, with the body being the critical vehicle to create the life of our perceptions.

Death to me is a great concept which enriches life. But when people are stuck in survival mode and refuse to grow up, they behave as if they will never die. This pushes them back everyday and constricts their vision of life itself. Nobody wants to die, but the desire to live for living sake is a sure recipe for a life of struggle. While struggle is inevitable, the choice to be made is whether we want to indulge in a struggle for survival, or a struggle to become better today than what we were yesterday.

Thus, life truly has to be lived intensely everyday without a break. While the days, weeks, months and years create a pattern, every day we have an opportunity to add to the dimensions of the pattern. Much of the sufferings people experience as they add years to their lives is because of the lack of ability to frame responses to various situations – both foreseen and unforeseen. The answer really lies in becoming not just better at what we do, but in becoming a `Better I` every day.

So, as we bid goodbye to another year and usher in a new one, I urge all of you resolve to make yourself a better person – mentally, emotionally, intellectually and spiritually – by the end of 2013 than what you are right now. To create a `Better I` could be a nice New Year Resolution.

Thank you 2012, and Welcome 2013!        

Why Tendulkar's Retirement Is Not `His Concern` Alone

Why Tendulkar's Retirement Is Not `His Concern` Alone

Just as every day of his cricketing exploits has not been his business alone, his retirement too – perhaps unfortunately for Sachin the individual – is not his concern alone, for Tendulkar is not just a great cricketer, he is a CONTEXT unto himself.

As a writer, one of the things I am conscious of is not to join in in a debate with a herd psychology. Therefore, I was reluctant to participate actively in the Tendulkar retirement debate, for who am I, a mere mortal amongst humans, with only aspirations of becoming extraordinary, to say when a legend like Tendulkar should retire? But I have still dared to step in, for as a writer, I am interested in analysing the pyschology that pervades our society from time to time, with the express intent to add to the profoundness of discussion. So, here is my take on the `Great Tendulkar Retirement Debate`.

Public life comes with a price, and that price is being subject to massive attention and scrutiny. But for Sachin Tendulkar, it is not just about handling attention and pressure of expectations, it is living up to the God-like image in the hearts and minds of people.

Yes, Indians can be pretty fickle minded. When the going is good, they can make Gods out of mere mortals and when the God fails, they can denigrate him with as much swiftness, which comes as a total surprise to the person in question. But I suspect in the case of Tendulkar, it is a little different. He is not just another public figure, he is the symbol of a resurgent post-liberalisation India. He is what every middle class Indian aspired for. He is not a rags to riches story – a typically pre-liberalisation `success romanticism`; he is what a cross section of talented middle class Indians sought for themselves – expression and dominance over limiting forces.

If Amitabh Bachchan provided relief in the '70s and '80s to tired masses through his angry young man roles on reel, Tendulkar, in real life, heralded the era of self belief in the country. He broke the first rule that you need to be of a certain age to go after success. He liberated the middle class from the guilt of earning lots of money and leading the good life. He taught his countrymen that if you perform, you can stay ahead of everyone else, and that the only way to answer your critics is to perform better.

He for over two decades has symbolised what India has been aspiring to be – a predominant force on the global platform. While cricket has very limited global reach, his performances and career longevity have helped struggling masses take hope and stretch the limits of their imagination in terms of what is possible. They take inspiration from him in various quarters of their life, as he is a role model for sustained performance. There is no one who has taught them better how to adapt and reinvent in an information-driven world where validity of yesterday's competencies are questioned today.

For India, Tendulkar is not just a great sportsman. He is a teacher and a role model student. The impact of his persona and achievements cannot be cocooned merely within a statistical framework. The nation looks up to him for answers when stuck in a rut, or when its people run out of ideas in their day-to-day dealings with life. They cannot afford him to fail, for then they lose faith in their own inner fabric. He is a part of their daily consciousness.

Therefore, as the debate about Tendulkar's retirement heats up, on the back of a run of poor performances, it unfortunately is not his business alone. Yes, he is not God, he is merely an extraordinary human being, who has been tutoring the world for over two decades with his cricketing exploits how to become extraordinary, through inch by inch addition of that little extra to their repertoire.

But for the masses, he is the `God Of Cricket` encased in a human body, whose failures are hurting their morale and self confidence. They cannot afford to see him leave the arena after being dealt a knockout punch. He has lived life on his own terms for the past so many years, mirroring millions' desire to do the same. But in a country, which is hooked on to relief as a concept, it is quite satisfying for them to see one man spearhead the mission of leading life on his terms, from which they derive an irrational but very real sense of satisfaction and retribution.

So, the problem with Tendulkar's form is not just about his contribution to the Indian cricket team. It has a deeper resonance in the very character of Indian society. The question before the nation is whether he will be able to call it a day on his own terms or not? A failure to do so will not affect people's respect for him, but it carries the extremely uncomfortable threat of denting their own self confidence, at a time when life in India, given its social-political complexities, is becoming difficult to handle.

For the nation, it is important Tendulkar goes out on a high – on his terms, with people asking why now, rather than why not now? They want to give him a hero's sendoff, deserving of a legend who set benchmarks which would not only require more than extraordinary skill and will power, but also a width and stretch of imagination that is conferred only on a select few in the world.

Yes, as an individual, he has every right to be the only one to decide when to hang up his cricketing boots, but given that he has been such a phenomenon, Sachin cannot be isolated from the consciousness, pressures and unreasonable expectations from people. In this respect alone, it makes him the most towering social personality in post-liberalisation India.

Therefore, just as every day of his cricketing exploits has not been his business alone – literally speaking, businesses for long have been looking to thrive on the kind of performance he delivers on the cricket field by roping him in for brand endorsements – his retirement too – perhaps unfortunately for Sachin the individual – is not his concern alone, for Sachin Tendulkar is not just a great cricketer, he is a CONTEXT unto himself.

An Interview With Money

                                                              An Interview With Money

This is an extract from our book `Honey, I Love Money, Success And You!` launched on Nov 28, 2012. In this chapter, the authors Harry and Samee engage in an absorbing conversation with `MONEY`.

                                                   (Ebook Details On Amazon.com)

Digital List Price:$1.49

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(Physical Copy available at Kitab Khana bookstore, Fort, Near Flora   Fountain, Mumbai; Cover Price: Rs 120/-).

ebook link: Honey, I Love Money. Success and You!


AN INTERVIEW WITH MONEY

By Hariharan Iyer and Samuel Talari

Friends, we have today with us somebody whom everybody dreams of having in huge quantity. But unfortunately, only few people manage to get their hands around this person with any degree of satisfaction. This personality is an enigma, and this person is `MONEY`.

Hariharan Iyer (Harry): Hello MONEY. Welcome to Honey, I Love Money, Success And You!

MONEY: Thank you. It’s a pleasure to be here. You guys are doing a wonderful job.

Samuel Talari (Samee): You seem to be keeping a track of what we are doing!

MONEY: Yeah, I always keep a track of people who are trying to do something meaningful in life. Thank you for sending me the chapter `25 Life Changing Principles For Health, Healing, Harmony And Happiness`. While every principle has a deep meaning, there are two I particularly like: The 20 20 20 20 Formula and Decide What You Want To Be – Comfortable Or Successful? I like their uniqueness.

Harry and Samee: Thanks for the compliment.

Samee: I'm sure interviewing you will only add to the book's enrichment.
(MONEY, slightly embarrassed, simply smiled).

Harry: How does it feel to be the most wanted person in this world?

MONEY (with a light chuckle): It feels good, but it is also a lot of responsibility.

Harry: Why do you say that?

MONEY: Because you don’t want to be misused. The most difficult part is that everybody wants me, but once they have me, they should not lose control over how they use me, because losing me is more painful than acquiring me.

Samee: That’s a very intriguing and interesting thing you say.

MONEY: What I mean is everybody wants me, but not everybody knows how to retain me after they get me, or they land themselves in unpleasant situations for getting me the way they did. Greed and unethical acquisition of wealth are the greatest roadblocks to acquiring sustainable financial abundance. Greedy people, even if they acquire a lot of money, will eventually lose their wealth and peace of mind.

And for many others in this world, I want to be with them, but they don’t know how to attract me. And then I get labeled as bad.

Samee: You are actually the best!

MONEY: Yeah, but people should know how to strike a relationship with me. I always wanted to share with the world how to have lots of me in their lives. I am very happy I can do that through this book.

Harry: Yes, that is our objective too. We thank you for agreeing for the interview.

MONEY: The pleasure is all mine!

Samee: Why are you such an enigma?

MONEY: I am not really an enigma. I pervade people’s consciousness. The terms poor, middle class and rich come from my context in people’s lives. People’s lifestyles are categorised on the basis of their bank balance. Yet….yes, you are right, people don’t understand me.

Harry: What is the reason for that?

MONEY: It has got to do with your culture. Children from a young age are taught the following things about money:

• I don’t need money…

• Too much money is bad...

• Money corrupts...

• Money is difficult to make...

• The rich are thieves...

• Money does not grow on trees...

• Learn to live within your means...

So emotionally and psychologically, many people feel a sense of struggle whenever they think of me. They don’t like me, but they cannot live without me either. I am not saying having lots of money in life is success, for success means different things to different people. But money is definitely a measurement of success. After all, what use is success if you have to struggle for money?

Samee (appearing contemplative, haltingly restated what MONEY said): Money is not success, but is a measurement of success. Wow! Wonderful!

(…recovering to his normal exuberant tone)

It’s ironic, isn’t it? Many people don’t like you, but they can’t live without you?

MONEY: Yes, funnily, people who are not comfortable with me actually leave their homes everyday, irrespective of whether they like their work or not, to bring me home. I want to be their friend, but they have made me their master.

Samee: What is that people need to do to make you their friend?

MONEY: They need to first of all understand my nature. I am an important part of what is called as Abundance. There are different types of abundance: health abundance, intellectual abundance, emotional abundance, financial abundance, spiritual abundance, etc. People who focus on abundance and not lack will have more than enough of me in their lives. Just as they respect other aspects of abundance, they should respect me too. But unfortunately, just as people sometimes are casual or negligent about other forms of abundance, they are negligent about financial abundance too.

Harry: But aren’t all forms of abundance inter-related?

MONEY: Absolutely. They are inter-related. But your culture has created compartments and people have isolated me in their minds. I find it hypocritical that many people blame government policies for their lack of financial abundance, rather than looking within themselves and changing their attitude towards me.

Abundance is connected to the heart. The more open you are about receiving and giving the good things of life, the more you can have each of them. Financial abundance is also connected to your mental and spiritual outlook to life. The moment people want to have more money, not just for themselves and their family, but also for doing good to people at large, I will be flying into their lives. In that sense, I like it more when people attach a spiritual and emotional quality to me.

Recreating Self, Recreating Life

Recreating Self, Recreating Life
Every day of my life I can create what I want. For example, I created this blog. It is a small thing, but the fact that I am the father of this piece gives me a huge kick.

It is now three-and-a-half years since I left Max New York Life as a Zonal Training Head to start out on my own. This period has been incredible to say the least. The process of recreating self to create a life of my dreams has been fascinating. Along the way, I have made some mistakes – and some serious ones -- which have only made me better and stronger. In this journey, you pay for your mistakes, there is no pardon.

A lot of people ask me how I am doing after I quit my job. It is a straightforward question for which unfortunately I have no straightforward answer because I haven't quite made the money as yet that can make me feel successful, or give the world the confidence that the risk is worth taking. Yet, in this period, is it any less achievement for a middle class boy next door to have earned every single rupee on the might of his own talent and effort than on the back of an employer's judgement of how good or bad he is? Having said this, leaving a well paying job and pursuing a purpose is a gutsy decision, for it is fraught with danger of failure, which, if not handled well, can not only set you back professionally, but also dent your confidence and morale.

Money is an important measurement of success, but to treat it as the sole measurement robs one of the charm of exploring the journey of one's chosen path. Success is truly a journey, not a destination, and I have never understood this more than in this last three-and-a-half years. This journey takes me to various places, makes me meet different types of people, and more importantly, it has provided me with the opportunity to create my own little milestones. What keeps me going despite various hurdles, rejections and problems is the opportunity to create what I want. My decision to leave my job was not just a way to buy my freedom, but critically, it was to throw open the world, so that limitless opportunities and possibilities can open up.

Every day of my life I can create what I want. For example, I created this blog. It is a small thing, but the fact that I am the father of this piece gives me a huge kick. Every day of my life is an opportunity to create something, or put in place a foundation or process to create something later. In the period since I started out on my own, I have come to value my thoughts and emotions more than ever before, for now I am accountable for everything that happens. While it is not easy to feel responsible for every minute of one's life, it is incredibly fascinating that within this sense of responsibility lies the immense and continuous opportunity to create, recreate and create.

The most important aspect of recreating my life has been the process of recreating myself. It is always an arduous task to change oneself, for it is not pleasant to know that you lack something. It also calls for constant learning and adaptability to different situations. While it is fascinating to have a limitless opportunity to create, being on your own also exposes you to the various dynamics of life, as in a job, we live a cocooned life, where the dynamics are predictable, even if varied. When you decide to earn a living on your own terms, it extracts a price – and that price is inculcation of an ability to feel certain within constant uncertainty. I have realised that if you want to stay put on the journey and have decided to make it an irreversible process, the only way is to stay positive at all points of time. It is tough to stay so positively positive, but really there is no choice if the choice is not to go back to a past paradigm of life.

While I struggle and march on to recreate my life, the only thing I constantly seek is to be able to continue on this journey. More than the little successes I have created, or the setbacks I have had to handle from time to time, I am completely hooked on to this journey. I have come to truly love this process of learning, being, and doing. As long as I stay on this journey, I can consider myself to be successful, for success is truly a journey, not a destination.

Recreating Self, Recreating Life

Recreating Self, Recreating Life
Every day of my life I can create what I want. For example, I created this blog. It is a small thing, but the fact that I am the father of this piece gives me a huge kick.

It is now three-and-a-half years since I left Max New York Life as a Zonal Training Head to start out on my own. This period has been incredible to say the least. The process of recreating self to create a life of my dreams has been fascinating. Along the way, I have made some mistakes – and some serious ones -- which have only made me better and stronger. In this journey, you pay for your mistakes, there is no pardon.

A lot of people ask me how I am doing after I quit my job. It is a straightforward question for which unfortunately I have no straightforward answer because I haven't quite made the money as yet that can make me feel successful, or give the world the confidence that the risk is worth taking. Yet, in this period, is it any less achievement for a middle class boy next door to have earned every single rupee on the might of his own talent and effort than on the back of an employer's judgement of how good or bad he is? Having said this, leaving a well paying job and pursuing a purpose is a gutsy decision, for it is fraught with danger of failure, which, if not handled well, can not only set you back professionally, but also dent your confidence and morale.

Money is an important measurement of success, but to treat it as the sole measurement robs one of the charm of exploring the journey of one's chosen path. Success is truly a journey, not a destination, and I have never understood this more than in this last three-and-a-half years. This journey takes me to various places, makes me meet different types of people, and more importantly, it has provided me with the opportunity to create my own little milestones. What keeps me going despite various hurdles, rejections and problems is the opportunity to create what I want. My decision to leave my job was not just a way to buy my freedom, but critically, it was to throw open the world, so that limitless opportunities and possibilities can open up.

Every day of my life I can create what I want. For example, I created this blog. It is a small thing, but the fact that I am the father of this piece gives me a huge kick. Every day of my life is an opportunity to create something, or put in place a foundation or process to create something later. In the period since I started out on my own, I have come to value my thoughts and emotions more than ever before, for now I am accountable for everything that happens. While it is not easy to feel responsible for every minute of one's life, it is incredibly fascinating that within this sense of responsibility lies the immense and continuous opportunity to create, recreate and create.

The most important aspect of recreating my life has been the process of recreating myself. It is always an arduous task to change oneself, for it is not pleasant to know that you lack something. It also calls for constant learning and adaptability to different situations. While it is fascinating to have a limitless opportunity to create, being on your own also exposes you to the various dynamics of life, as in a job, we live a cocooned life, where the dynamics are predictable, even if varied. When you decide to earn a living on your own terms, it extracts a price – and that price is inculcation of an ability to feel certain within constant uncertainty. I have realised that if you want to stay put on the journey and have decided to make it an irreversible process, the only way is to stay positive at all points of time. It is tough to stay so positively positive, but really there is no choice if the choice is not to go back to a past paradigm of life.

While I struggle and march on to recreate my life, the only thing I constantly seek is to be able to continue on this journey. More than the little successes I have created, or the setbacks I have had to handle from time to time, I am completely hooked on to this journey. I have come to truly love this process of learning, being, and doing. As long as I stay on this journey, I can consider myself to be successful, for success is truly a journey, not a destination.

Main Aur Meri Tanhaai....

Main Aur Meri Tanhaai....
Yash Chopra was literally in love with love, and taught the world how to love love in its various colours, shades and interpretations. The suddenness of his passing away suggests nature had not planted Yashji amidst mere mortals like us to go into a reverie – Jab Tak Hai Jaan, he had to create romance out of romance.

Wonder what Yash Chopra's soul will be doing right now up in the heavens, watching his just-left-behind human folks go about their business of life, with many of them carrying the idea of romance as one reserved for the illusory world of films, not applicable in the real world! Maybe, he is just plotting another script for his re-entry into Earth, grander and more extravagant.

For Yash Chopra, the illusory world was the real world, where he projected his romantic interpretations with such finesse and subtle depth that you found each one of his love triangles, though based on the two-plus-one formula, DIFFERENT. Over so many years, one man, obsessed with romance as an idea, came up with so many colours that it was astonishing that the concept of love could have so many shades. Whether it was Kabhi Kabhie, or Lamhe, or Silsila, or Chandni, or Darr, or Dil Tho Pagal Hai, the audience found a fresh context and a new dimension. He was literally in love with love, and taught the world how to love love in its various colours, shades and interpretations. His love triangles seemed same from the outside, but there was no sameness in the inside.

Even through films like Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge, which catapulted Shah Rukh Khan to superstardom, and Veer Zaara, the depths of love as an emotion were explored with great passion and predilection. No doubt, Yash Chopra was a very passionate human being, reflected even in his non-romantic films like Deewar, Trishul, and Kaala Patthar, where he got his characters to exude their roles with tremendous focus and intensity.

In many ways, Yashji's life was a focused one. He focused on romance, and always ensured that in the end, it was love that won, and not merely the film's characters. While Hindi films have always revolved around love as a predominant theme, cutting across generations of filmmakers, Yash Chopra was an absolute original. He brought alive the romantic feeling in dimensions as only he could.

It seems he was born to paint the emotion of love on the grand and illusory landscape of life, providing people with many moments of escape from their stale and humdrum existence. It is intriguing that the script of life snatched him away from us just after he said he wanted to retire from direction, perhaps also to reflect on his work and his interpretations, just as an artist would after having finished a project. The suddenness of his passing away suggests nature had not planted Yashji amidst mere mortals like us to go into a reverie – Jab Tak Hai Jaan, he had to create romance out of romance.

Yash Chopra's legacy lies not just in creating films of a genre of which he was the master architect, it also lies in bringing alive some extraordinary talents like Amitabh Bachchan and Shah Rukh Khan. Amongst the pantheon of Bollywood legends who have departed from this world, the vacuum left by Yashji can be filled only by Yashji, as God does not make such romantics with any imaginable frequency.

The heart says that Yashji has just taken a break. He did not exit this world because he was tired of love, he has simply gone on a cosmic holiday, perhaps to take fresh lessons on the idea of romance from the creator. The world awaits his return on another day, in another form, with a fresh wave of romantic interpretations. Till then, his films will provide us with succour, relief and entertainment.

Yash Chopra – born on September 27, 1932 – went on a cosmic holiday on October 21, 2012.

Amitabh's Birthday Today – Why Not Declare It As National Excellence Day?

Amitabh's Birthday Today – Why Not Declare It As National Excellence Day?
Take out the social relevance attached to his success, and just study Amitabh the person, and what we will get is a picture of excellence which cannot be learnt through books, but only through observing a true icon in action.

One man, one industry, one nation, one obsession – Amitabh Bachchan. As somebody who has grown up watching Bachchan perform some incredible roles with passion and panache, he continues to be a role model for the crafty exhibition of his excellence as well as for the excellence of his craft. It is incredible that the nation never tires of knowing the same things about him over and over again, be it through television, radio, newspapers, magazines, or the Internet.

There was a time in his career when many people wondered whether he would ever get himself out of the stereotype of the angry young man and perform more meaningful roles. Despite his iconic superstar status, his admirers too felt that the actor in him was yet to flower. Then came a downslide in his career before KBC resurrected him, and lo! the dawn of a new millennium also brought along with it an Amitabh who had resurrected his life and reinvented himself professionally, rising like a phoenix.

Ageing acted as a positive boost to the acting talent that lay hidden within him for so long, caught up in preserving the star, who fought illusory battles on reel for common people's real life problems. Amitabh was not just a star, he was the mechanism of relief for the Indian masses, who for long had to go through hard life battles, finding an irrational sense of succour in the lanky and unconventional looking `system fighter on screen` from Allahabad taking on the bad guys of the world, almost single handedly. On screen, when Amitabh punched the villain in his trademark style, the masses packed a punch emotionally as they let out another element of their stored-up frustration.

It almost seemed like God had planted Amitabh in a particular space as part of a larger cosmic role to execute the task of helping people cope with their struggles in a manner which was at once creative as well as bizarre. So, it is perhaps incorrect to say that Amitabh did not want to break away from the mould, maybe, the masses themselves could not release their star from the image they had constructed about him. Seen this way, it is clear why the entire nation prayed hard to recall Amitabh from the jaws of death after the Coolie accident, for his death might have not only meant the loss of a loved one, but also of hope.

Ageing allowed Amitabh to experiment and further evolve as an actor, but it was not before a long personal-professional struggle that he could resurrect himself and endear himself all over again to the nation, obsessed with his voice, personality, dialogue delivery, and depth of conviction while portraying various characters on celluloid.

But while there is a strong social context to Bachchan's success, what is fundamentally true about his mega status is his mega professionalism. He has always been considered to be a director's actor, who would do his part without interfering with the script. Not just that, his discipline, quality consciousness and single minded devotion to his profession are areas of learning critical for a nation, where excellence is compromised regularly and in absurd ways. Take out the social relevance attached to his success, and just study Amitabh the person, and what we will get is a picture of excellence which cannot be learnt through books, but only through observing a true icon in action.

So, as the nation once again obsesses about its Shahenshah as he turns 70, is it time to ponder whether we should declare October 11^th as National Excellence Day?

Happy Birthday Mr Amitabh Bachchan – bas naam hi kaafi hai!

Gandhi – Why India's Youth Should Know Him Better

Gandhi – Why India's Youth Should Know Him BetterGandhiji too would have been proud of the four qualities in our youth

Today is one more October 2^nd – the birth anniversary of Mahatma Gandhi – and one more time politicians will offer their respects at Rajghat, and channels are likely to air the film `Gandhi` and other movies on the Mahatma through the day. For a vast majority, today is not about remembering Gandhi or what he stood for, but simply enjoying a break from work and relaxing on a national holiday. Being a long weekend, many of them may have even planned an extended holiday outside their respective cities starting last Friday or Saturday, ending today.

No grudges about all this of course, but there is no doubt that with every passing year, Gandhi and his methods are getting more and more relevant. As the world finds itself engulfed by Earth threatening problems like global warming, leadership concerns, terrorism, economic divide, etc, Gandhi the thinker raises his head from time to time in various ways, if only to remind people that his physical body died decades ago, but he lives on, causing enormous `chemical locha` (made famous by Rajkumar Hirani's film `Lage Raho Munnabhai, released in 2006) in the minds of people even today.

Gandhi is not just an institution, he is India's consciousness and somewhere a conscience keeper of our culture and moral/ethical values. The youth of our country, typically the post economic liberalisation generation, must study Gandhi beyond their academic text books, simply because that will help them establish a sounder intellectual/spiritual basis for existence than merely money. It will also make them realise just how much Gandhi contributed for India's sake at huge personal cost so that his countrymen could lead a life of dignity and freedom.

India and its people may not have panned out as per Gandhiji's vision, but I feel in some ways he would have been proud of today's generation for their following qualities:
-- A go getter attitude: Gandhiji was a go getter. He withstood enormous suffering to achieve independence for India.
-- A vibrancy unseen in any other generation collectively before: Gandhiji never grew old. He was the very epitome of energy.
-- A sharing attitude: To my mind, this is India's best post-independence generation when it comes to sharing. Be it through thoughts on facebook or through daily communication, they are quite forthcoming in their attitude of sharing, and Gandhiji would have been proud of this.

-- An aversion to corruption: The youth came out in large numbers to support Anna Hazare in his fight against corruption, and Gandhiji would have been proud of this too. The youth also perhaps have a decent ability to imbibe Gandhigiri (again, thank you Lage Raho Munnabhai).

But if Gandhiji were alive today, he would have given the youth a huge thumbs down for their attitude towards money and sex. Gandhiji was the very symbol of discipline and self control. He would probably have done his bit to educate the youth on this.

The youth of our country should know Gandhi better, for there is so much to derive from what he stood for. Post liberalisation India, dominated by money-oriented discussions, presents a very simplistic view of life, whereas seen from Gandhiji's perspective, they will find many answers to the various complications a money-driven society throws up, and thereby discover a far higher level of intellectual/spiritual enrichment.

Why Many People Don't Want To Be Successful

Why Many People Don't Want To Be Successful
The process of success and success itself bring with them a relentless responsibility,
which not everyone can handle.

Yes, you read it right. There are many people in this world who do not want to be successful. Now, this is not the same as not having the desire to be successful. Everybody in this world desires to be successful, but not everyone chooses to be successful. Desire and want are two different aspects, just as my favourite theory that comfort and success are not equal to each other. The interpretation of words has a major impact on how we shape our understanding, and thereby our destiny.

The reason somebody can have the desire for success but not the want is that success comes with a price, and it creates expectations. Successful people face a perennial problem which the unsuccessful ones don't have to, and that is, they have to sustain and expand that success. It is not an easy paradigm to deal with. Both the process of becoming successful in something and then working towards sustaining plus raising the bar demand a price which is both undefined and unquantifiable. Many people early in their journey realise this and block their due in life – in many instances unconsciously -- because they lack the emotional and mental bandwidth to continuously pay the price. Somewhere along the line, they just hope that success will one fine day arrive at their doorstep, and they will not even have to pay the price. They just hope that success will arrive automatically. But then unfortunately it doesn't work that way.

A key difference of course lies in the fact that the process of success and success itself bring with them a certain responsibility which not everyone can handle. Besides, it is a relentless responsibility. Once you get to something in life which is deemed as success, the responsibility to live up to it can be overwhelming for many. That is why many people, after having attained a certain level of success, come crashing down. Only those who are able to take responsibility for their situation, plus are ready to continuously reinvent themselves can rise again, and keep rising. They are the ones who believe that you are only as good or bad as your last performance – success is just that, what you achieved yesterday. Today is a new day, and it calls for a fresh effort, with no guarantees of yesterday's conditions remaining the same.

In many ways, the right question is not what needs to be done to be successful? Rather, the right question should be, what should not be done which will block our success? Here are a few pointers:

1. Don't hope for success, rather, work for success.
2. Don't shy away from the price of success, rather, be ready to pay it continuously.
3. Don't give up because it is painful, rather, persist and become pain-resistant, for only pain produces performance.
4. Don't blame it on bad luck if you don't make it, rather, create your own luck by persisting till you make it, and keep persisting to grow even more.
5. Don't have a bad attitude, rather, work rigorously on building the right attitude
6. Don't think it is too late, rather, it is never too early or too late to start.
7. Don't expect people to support you in your journey, rather, expect more brickbats than bouquets for your courage to pursue your dreams, even from those who matter a lot to you in your life.
8. Don't be in your comfort zone, rather, get out of it and take calculated risks. Not taking any risk is the greatest risk of all.
9. Don't just have desire, rather, have BURNING DESIRE. It is not good enough to just have desire. What separates the extraordinary from the ordinary is the extra word: Burning.
10. Don't be deluded that success is just about attitude, rather, it is a recognition which is given to us by others. Attitude is in the inside, but success is in the outside, for it is relative.

The tenth point is a very important one. We can't declare ourselves to be successful. That is done by others. The world decides whether we are successful or not. This means there is a waiting game which every success aspiring person has to go through, and naturally, he or she has to compete for that recognition in the marketplace. This calls for huge amounts of patience and persistence, with no guarantees of that recognition coming our way in our lifetime. That's why the success path requires a lot of courage. For many people, their life ends with a gap between effort and recognition. But, somewhere you have to believe life evens it out in its own unique way.

Similar to the topic of this piece, the other important questions could be: Why leaders fail? Why salespeople fail? Why relationships fail? I am reading this amazing book by Marshall Goldsmith titled, `What got You Here Won't Get You There`, and he quotes the great Peter Drucker as having said: “We spend a lot of time teaching leaders what to do. We don't spend enough time teaching leaders what to stop. Half the leaders I have met don't need to learn what to do. They need to learn what to stop.” -- (Chapter: The Twenty Habits).

Needless to say, the inspiration to write this piece has come from Marshall Goldsmith's book. Come to think of it, if habit formation be considered as a key component of success, how critical is it to stop our bad habits than simply create healthy ones? For healthy ones to take shape, the unhealthy ones have to be weeded out; otherwise, how do you make space for the healthy ones? Sometimes, an overdose of positivity without a realistic self assessment works as a roadblock to success. An ability to look in the mirror and acknowledge one's life's realities is an extremely commendable quality.

But how does one really define success? There is really only one definition: Success is a journey, not a destination – of which failure is an integral part. If you can't take failures in your stride and learn from them, you cannot deserve success. The beauty of success lies in the journey, a never ending journey, rather than in achieving a so called destination. Those who stop are not missing out on the real or imagined fruits, they are simply missing out on the romance of the journey. If you stay on the journey, you are successful.

Before I end, a strong recommendation. The best book I have read on success is `Think And Grow Rich`, by the great Napoleon Hill. It is an ultimate treatise on success. Don't miss laying your hands on it and reading it.

Mr & Mrs Iyer, `by` Miss Iyer

Here's presenting what our daughter Diksha might be thinking of us

I am just about 14 years old, and do understand the importance of protocol. So let me start with my Mom.

She I think is cute and simple, but married to a crazy........you know whom. Right from my younger days (I mean childhood days, I am young now!), she has encouraged and piloted me to various activities outside of school, be it skating, dancing, or, ah......well I suppose these two primarily. And like every other Mom, been after my life to complete my homework and studies on time. Eureka! I have discovered all Moms act alike.

What are the things I like about her? Well.....she is very caring, loves her family – I mean not just me and Dad, but her mother, brother, cousins. She is very artistic, wow! she actually draws amazingly well. And she cooks yummy.

And what is that I don't like about her? The same things actually that Moms take a lot of pride in – telling their children what is good and what is bad, why I should not keep things wherever I want, why I should take care of my hair and health, and how I don't fully appreciate what my parents do for me, etc, etc, etc – instructions, instructions, instructions. It is in these moments that I miss a sibling; at least the instructions can be shared. Actually, she is right, but why should I understand anyway? I am too young, you see!

And here's about my Dad. He's a cool dude actually, but somehow can't fathom why he thinks he is some kind of a person always in demand. He behaves as if he is getting younger every year. But can't he see I am growing older? There is just one word to describe him – crazy. These days, he is on cloud nine, because I stood second in an essay competition in school – no, no, it's not pride in his daughter's talent and all that. That's because the title of the essay was, Father – My Role Model. But I gave him the breaking news anyway, that I did not choose the topic, it was given to us. Guess his expression?

But he has this amazing capacity to keep himself and all of us excited. My Mom is so unlike him, and that's why I think they complete each other. He sings Bollywood songs as if he is the successor to all the legendary Hindi film singers. He is embarrassingly loud in his conversations sometimes – actually most of the times – my Mom rightly reminds him that our house is not a training room and the mobile is not a microphone. He often stares at the mirror as if he is the only true master creation of God. Actually, I carry the same habit and attitude.

Interesting characters I have inherited as Mom and Dad. My Mom is a typical housewife, concerned with the way the house is, whereas my Dad is concerned with the way the world is. I don't mind that as longs he gets enough money home for my regular Mc D burgers, movies, and outings. My father is an intellectual – at least he thinks he is one – and regularly stacks his library with new books, which I can't relate to, not at this stage of my life at least. Life right now is too cool to be serious; it's LoL (lots of laughter).

Well, what about me? What kind of person am I? That Dad will anyway cover someday in his blog! So keep reading.

PS: Before I sign off, I love my Mom and Dad, and they love me too.

VVS: Where The Bat Was A Brush, And The Cricket Field A Canvas

Laxman was not just one of his kind, he was the only ONE

VVS Laxman got it all wrong. He thought the cricket field was a large canvas, the bat a brush and the ball a solidified form of paint. Instead of dogged defence, he presented a light touch, instead of hitting the ball hard, he caressed it, as if not to cause pain, and instead of placing the delivery in the area of its arrival, like an artist does with a paint brush, he simply changed direction and placed the ball where it could find greater relevance to the divine cause of expression.

Laxman was more of an artist, and less of a batsman. He simply expanded the vision of being a painter to a dimension which required a vast space like a cricket field. The artist in him needed a much larger canvas to pour out the genius within. Fans like me did not watch Laxman bat just to see him score runs or bail India out of one more tight situation. We watched him bat because in the pretext of a willow in hand, with his artistic strokes, he provided perspectives about life which only a person with artistry in his soul could. He maneuvered the cricket field as an artist maneuvers through various creative ideas.

Just as you thought the delivery was now going to be inevitably delivered to the cover fence with a copybook swirl of the bat, with the left foot in tandem, the TV camera suddenly shifted towards the midwicket fence, focusing on a hapless and bewildered fielder fetching the ball. Just as an artist gets an instant inspiration to change the direction of his brush, Laxman often suddenly used to bring the wrist into play and dismiss the delivery to another corner of the large canvas called the cricket field. This aspect of his game was so unique that it can never ever be replicated on the cricket field. New batsmen taking his place in the middle order can replace the name in the batting order, but cannot replicate his talent, for he was not just one of his kind, he was the only ONE.

In terms of pure cricketing contribution, Laxman gave Indian cricket and India self belief. His 281 at Kolkata's Eden Gardens in the 2001 series against Australia was not just an extraordinary or unbelievable innings, it was an example of poetical destruction. Pace or spin met with a treatment which sunk the opposition into a `despair of admiration`. It was an example of grabbing the opportunity to etch his name amongst the immortals of the game. It is not that the innings manufactured Laxman, he manufactured the innings.

Whatever Laxman did or did not after that innings is purely a matter of academic discussion. In that innings he had scripted the future of Indian cricket. He started the journey of India years later being anointed as the world's No.1 test playing nation. To my mind, his innings in Kolkata and his mammoth partnership with Rahul Dravid (is it any coincidence that the two shared many great partnerships!) in that test is one of the great events in post-independence history of India. Though purely a great sporting event, it had ramifications for the entire nation's psyche, as India draws so much of its joys and sorrows from the happenings on the cricket field.

Laxman's retirement from the cricketing canvas marks the end of artistry in a game which is based so much on technique and temperament. Laxman battled hard all through his career to balance his inner urge for creativity as well as the situation he found the team in when he went into bat. But in the past few months, the artistry seemed to be deserting him; perhaps, the bat refused to be treated as a brush any more. Maybe, the bat could not reinvent itself any further. Maybe, Laxman finally had to accept that cricket is a game between bat and ball, the cricket field is not a canvas, and that he now needs to paint his future on a different pitch of life.

Artists change their canvas often, and maybe VVS, after sixteen long years, has done just that!    

I Have Turned `3` Today

I Have Turned `3` Today
For the record 43, but life begins at 40!

I write this in the morning hours of the day and this birthday is already coming through as a special one. We had a spot celebration at Barista past midnight with my wife's cousins, followed by a decent number of SMSes and phone calls this morning. And of course the facebook messages are already swelling up. I thank God from the bottom of my heart for all the lovely people I am blessed with in my life.

No doubt, life in the last three years since I decided to start out on my own has been tough, but fascinating to the core. It has opened up a whole new set of opportunities and brought me in contact with an incredible number of wonderful people. And the most important thing is I have never felt more young.

The reason for this is that somewhere along the journey of life I realised that life in a substantial and clear way begins only at 40. It was in my fortieth year (June 2009 to be precise) that I decided to quit my well paying job with a respected profile and attempt to recreate myself. The premise of my first book `The 20 20 20 20 Formula For Success` (co-authored with my friend Samuel Talari) was that a life of great purpose takes shape once you turn 40, as it takes that many years for many people to understand life from its depths and shape their role on this planet. In the first forty years, in slots of 20 years each, life shows us both its comfortable and uncomfortable sides. By the time we turn 40, a greater sense of perspective and maturity sets in, thereby placing us on the path of a deeper purpose.

Nature has gifted us with automatic physical growth. We play no role in how our face and physical structure evolves. Therefore, our primary responsibility is to acknowledge the power of being born as a human being and make it count. God has given us a mind and intellect, and he expects us to utilise them effectively to evolve as better life managers. When we touch 40, we reasonably outgrow viewing life from a predominantly physical perspective and start looking at it from a larger sense of consciousness. The true turning point of life is when we start seeing life with a purpose driven perspective, and not just from a paradigm of going through the motions.

Looked at in this way, age appears to be just a number. Age actually presents an opportunity to reinvent yourself and is definitely not a roadblock to your success. I tell people above 40 not to feel disheartened if they have not achieved anything substantial thus far, for `we are born` at 40 and they must count their age from thereon. If you look around, you will find that many people have achieved great things after turning 40. So, rather than feeling a kind of midlife crisis, this is the age when our youthful energies should manifest with renewed vigour and take us to heights like never before. For those who are under 40, I tell them, life has not even started, and many more enriching experiences are in store.

It is far better to succeed a little late in life and stay that way till the end than acquire success early and see it slipping away. In today's world we see too many people succeed too early and then struggle to hold on to it. This does not mean that people below forty should not strive for or achieve success earlier than many, but it helps to understand that success once attained also has to be sustained. Therefore, with early success also comes the responsibility to sustain it. And in any case, success is a continuous journey and not a destination.

All in all, life has so much to offer. All we need to do is keep our mind young always and allow the process of life to shower its unlimited abundance on us. Rather than feeling that every birthday is a step closer to death, create the feeling that every birthday is a more mature step towards fulfilling our life purpose. That way, you will acquire a bounce in your steps that will elevate you to a different level in life – each day, each year.

I have just turned 3 today. What's your age?